That can't be true!

Have you ever read something in the Bible and said those words?  Or perhaps said something along the lines of: "God didn't really mean that."  "There must be more to the story."  "That doesn't seem fair!"  "God would never do that."  Or even perhaps, more honestly, "I just don't understand."

In Bible classes, Religion classes, Ethics classes, even Logic classes, we're taught the correct answers for so many questions, or at least how to arrive at them.  We pile it all into our head, consider them until we think they make sense, and then go about life content with the information we have been handed.  Unless you're like me.  I hate being told what to do.  I despise being told what to believe.  And I'm frustrated with all the people who boast about how much they know and understand, because usually brilliant people are more concerned about all they don't know and understand.

To illustrate this further, let me share with you a story about my first year in college.  Before I left home, I was a member of the RCA, active in church, and took my faith very seriously.  I asked questions, prayed, and talked to others about God and the Bible.  But then I went to college. I was happy to be free and on my own.

I  made some very unusual decisions as a young Christian woman.  I chose not to attend chapel, Bible study, or church.  I stayed away from almost everything that had to do with organized religion.  Instead of participating in situations where people would tell me: what they believe, what I should believe, what the church believed, etc., I choose to spend hours every night in my bed reading my Bible and praying.  I was sick and tired of listening to what humans thought.  What I really wanted to know is what GOD thought.  What was He saying to me?  How does He want me to live?  Could I be quiet enough to hear Him speak -to know His thoughts?  What was in me that didn't please God?  What about all this controversy in the church and other denominations?  What was God's take on the world?  And who is this adversary that wants me dead!  What does it mean to fight a spiritual battle?  I sure did talk God's ear off!  But I wanted to know!  How could I love and worship and serve a God who I didn't know better than myself?

During that process I ran across many scriptures that caught me by surprise.  Sometimes, I was enlightened.  But often, I was confused.  To this day, I still have scriptures I pray about.  Here is one that has bothered me for a while:  

"For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." James 2:10

Really?  If you make one mistake you've broken the whole law?  That doesn't seem fair!  Now, I can give you a lot of arguments as to why that passage doesn't make sense.  And I can repeat the arguments explaining why it is true.  James even explains in the next few verses what he's getting at.  Yada yada yada.  I understand the overlying concept that sin is sin and we all need salvation.  I've heard the metaphors that say the law is like a chain, and if you break one link, the entire chain is broken.  I get all of that, but I never understood it down to my soul until....my baby chewed up a card on the living room floor.

Yes, you heard me correctly.  One of my other children had left a deck of cards on an end table.   The baby must have knocked them off, picked up only one of them, and proceeded to suck on it and mutilate it beyond use.  I caught him in the act and took it away.  I gathered up the rest of the cards (which were all shaped like snowmen) and put them back in their case.  But there in that moment, I had a conundrum.  51 cards were in perfect condition.  The deck looked whole, but I knew it wasn't.  There was no possible way for me to fix the slobbery mutilated snowman card.  And so I stood there and I thought, what do I do?

I can't make this deck whole again.  I can't play with only 51 good cards.  My children might not realize one card is gone, but I would know.  And no game played with this deck would be a fair game.  Should I throw it away?  It seems like such a WASTE!  And then it hit me, and I almost cried.  (If you know me, I don't cry.  Well, maybe once a year, but almost never.)

Standing above that garbage can with what looked like a full deck of cards, I realized in that moment what it meant to break one of the laws and actually be guilty of breaking them all.  Only one card was ruined, but the entire deck was now useless.  My baby had broken the entire deck by breaking only one card.  My heart sank at what a terrible sinner I am.  I understood - again - why I needed a Savior.  And I was overwhelmed with joy that instead of throwing me out, God choose to send his son, Jesus, to make my deck whole again.

There are a lot of people in life, walking around with broken cards.  Many think they'll be just fine because it looks like their deck is whole.  But the truth is, no one has a full deck.  We can't fix the sin in our lives!  But the good news is, Jesus can!  If we confess our sin, repent, and change our ways, while believing that Jesus is Lord, and accepting His sacrifice on the cross as payment for our sin, then He can enter in, wash us white as snow, and repair the brokenness we did that makes us unfit for His presence.

I apologized to God for being a terrible student.  I've struggled with this passage up until a few weeks ago, but I am thankful that He is patient with me.  I have always known I was a sinner and needed a Savior.  But as I dumped that deck into the garbage, I was overwhelmed with gratefulness that will be with me through eternity.  What a merciful God!  He chose to save me and make me new again instead of throwing me away. It is more than I deserve.