Raising Samson (the wild child)

To clarify, I do not have a son named Samson.  Nor do any of my children possess super strength.  But at times I feel for the woman who had to raise Samson because raising 'wild children' is not an easy task.

Well before I gave birth to my first child, I prayed that God wouldn't give me any children who would reject Him.  An odd prayer?  Yes, especially for a teenager.  But I decided a long time ago, I'd rather be barren than have children who opposed God in their hearts. Fast forward 20 some years and here I am with 6 kids.  Some of them love the Lord deeply, some of them are too young to tell, and then there's one - one I'm just not sure about.

This one child drains my energy more than all the others combined.  He is constantly stirring up trouble.  His mouth knows no bounds and it seems that the concept of self-discipline has been permanently banned from his brain.  While I used to believe that I was pretty adept at raising children, this child baffles me daily.  My normal discipline techniques do not work.  My normal encouraging words fall on deaf ears.  I'm not particularly sure what motivates this boy other than his fleshly desires and I am highly concerned for his soul.  He's my Samson.

But wait!  Wasn't Samson considered one of the heroes of the Bible?  Well, yes.  Yet if you read Judges 13-16 in depth, instead of glossing over the messy parts, you quickly learn that Samson's life was riddled with trouble - mostly of his own making.  As a young man, he could kill wild animals with his bare hands, he liked to trick people, and he was a vengeful lustful man with a propensity for murder.  Honestly, there is little good recorded in the Bible about Samson other than the fact that God used him to defeat the Philistines and he judged Israel for 20 years.  However, when I read these passages, all I can think of is his poor mother.

How do you raise a child to love the Lord and do His will when your child seems mostly concerned about himself and getting what he wants?  How do you not lose your temper daily with a child like this?  How do you handle a loud boisterous child who lacks self control?  What do you do when a child takes great pleasure in antagonizing others?  No, my child did not tie 300 foxes in pairs, light their tales on fire, and send them into storehouses of food to burn it down.  My child also hasn't killed 30 men to take their possessions in order to pay off a bet.  But let me tell you, there are days when I wonder exactly what is going to come of his life.  Will he find his way to jail?  Will he find great pleasure in the sins of the world?  Will he ever submit to Christ and love Him with his whole heart?

This child is way too young to be considered a 'wild child.' But as you can see, the seeds were planted at a young age.  In this picture he became very angry when we told him 'no,' so he went to his room and dumped baby powder everywhere to get back at us. In fact, after the third time of this type of 'revenge' I had to remove all baby powder from the house.  He wasn't even two yet.  But the shirt seems very fitting.  And, no, raising him didn't get easier as he got older. 

I don't know.  I honestly cannot tell the future.  However this I do know, Samson made it.  And if there is hope for Samson, there is hope for my son.  So while I work on the daily struggles with this child I remind myself of these things regarding his future:

1) Samson was chosen by God before birth to do God's work in this world.  (Judges 13:5)  In fact, God said something similar about Jeremiah in Jeremiah 1:5.  The truth is, before we were born, God knew us and He has a plan for our lives.  He also has a plan for our children's lives - even the wild ones.  God has a plan for my Samson even if I have no idea what it is.

2) Samson was exceptionally strong because God made him that way to do God's work.  Samson did not always use his gift wisely.  In fact, he was a pretty angry guy and made some really foolish choices.  But in spite of his faults, God still used him in a mighty way.  God can use my son too.  Though I may see his faults daily, that doesn't deter God.  God doesn't give up on my child because he's naughty, and neither will I.

3) Samson often gave into his flesh.  He did a lot of things that "seemed right in his own eyes" (Judges 14:3).  The Bible warns us in Proverbs 21:2 that "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart."  We know that fleshly desires and God's Law are often at odds.  But in spite of all the weaknesses of Samson's flesh, God still weighed his heart.  His sins, though great, did not determine his eternal destiny.  

4) Finally, Samson finished well, and that is the part of the story we remember.  His life of sin lead to a lot of terrible consequences in this world.  But at the end, when the Philistines were using him for entertainment while they worshiped Dagon, he asked God to strengthen him one last time and brought judgement on God's enemies!  The first part of my child's life has been rough.  I suspect there is a very bumpy road ahead.  Hopefully, the bumps only endure for a few years, but they might endure for the majority of his life.  But up until his final breath, he has a chance to finish well.

My child has hope, and I must remind myself of this daily.  Many of the great men of God have serious sin struggles.  My child will likely struggle too.  But God can still use him in spite of his struggles.  Though his life might be hard, God hasn't turned His back on him.  It may take this particular child a bit longer to formulate a deep relationship with Christ, but I pray that he will, and I'll remind him daily that God has a purpose for his life.  He has gifted my child differently than any other child in this world and has a special plan just for him.  If God can create Samson, use Samson, and even fill him with His Spirit, He can use my boy too. Wild children are not a lost cause.

My Bad Bad Week

It started off with someone hurting my child emotionally and thinking nothing of it.  The next day another person threw me under the bus for a mistake they made.  The next day I got a huge bill in the mail because the insurance company refused payment and I had to stay on the phone for 2 hours while someone looked into the problem.  The next day, I got into a fight with my husband.  The next day one of my children was persistently defiant.  The next day...well, you get the picture.   For 10 days straight, I had never ending problems.  No one died.  No one got sick, but problem after problem after problem took their toll.  Unfortunately, I did not live that week well.  It was a bad bad week (and a half).

Have you ever had a stressful week where nothing exceptionally horrible went wrong but the problems just kept piling on?  It is utterly exhausting.  My children will tell you, I was not a good mom during that time.  I was not a good wife during that time, and honestly, I was not a very good Christian either.

Yes, I was praying.  Yes, I was reading my Bible and asking God to help me.  Unfortunately, I wasn't a particularly good listener.  So God decided to punch me in the gut.  It wasn't fun.  I'll share my experience with you, so that hopefully, you can avoid doing what I did.

One evening we were watching a ball game for one of my children when Susie started talking to a child in our neighborhood.  Susie has a kind heart and a lovely spirit.  She makes friends very easily and treats all people with abundant respect (except her brothers).  Susie has a rare ability to make people feel loved.  She isn't perfect, but she is very unique.  God has gifted her in a special way to reach people for Him.  And that is what she was doing.  I wasn't paying much attention to their conversation until my 7 year old started talking to this other child about life and church and God.  WHAT?  I was having a terrible week.  My heart wasn't right, but there was my little girl talking very sweetly, witnessing to another child she hardly knew.  If that didn't shock my spirit, the next thing I noticed did.  Susie's new acquaintance was related to the adult who had done me wrong earlier in the week.  I was still quite angry about the situation.  So, God punched me.

My very bad week had distracted me from the purpose for which I was created.  My feelings, although justified, caused me to act in a way that would turn people off to Christ.  Yet my little girl was showing Christ's love to the same people who had done me wrong.  I did not know this family was unsaved until I overheard Susie's conversation.  So God knocked me to the ground (figuratively) and reminded me in a very authoritative way that my feelings should never take precedence over the Gospel message.

I went home with my tail tucked between my legs.  Yes, I had an absolutely awful week where I was mistreated time and time again.  Subsequently my flesh decided to make some unwise postings on facebook, speak negatively about a few people in my life, and lose my patience with those I love most.  I was a terrible Christian who needed a wake up call.

Sometimes it is easier to get through the hardest times in life - like losing a loved one or dealing with a chronic illness - because during those deep dark moments we lean on God minute by minute.  But the annoying headaches of life don't always drive us to Him.  I spent my time praying, complaining about the week, asking God to stop the problems, but never listening for His guidance.  Meanwhile, my daughter was busy about her Father's work.  And my actions were contradicting hers.

This world is evil.  Sinners sin.  People hate Christians.  It should come as no surprise that we will all have bad weeks.  And, unfortunately, we'll probably all fail from time to time.  Yet it is important to remember that our purpose is not simply to solve earthly problems or stand up for ourselves or our family.  People will hurt us and lie about us and send us bills that don't belong to us.  We will get upset.  But our overarching purpose is to share the Gospel.  If our actions compromise the Gospel of Christ, beware, God has a nasty right hook.  And He will get you.

Hebrews 12:6 - For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.