Raising Kids for Eternity (Obedience)

Deuteronomy 10:12 "And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul,"

Obedience

I have a little Derik 2.0 (Gabe) and little Derik 3.0 (Ben).  I say they are like my husband because I don't ever remember not wanting to obey.  My husband on the other hand is a force to be reckoned with!  Fortunately, both Gabe and Ben are exceedingly funny and live life the the fullest, but they also keep me on my toes!  Today, Ben who is 23 months, was hitting again.  I warned him as I usually do to stop, or he'd have to go to bed.  He said, "No, and hit me again."  So, it was off to bed.  I don't get too aggravated by his antics, but I sometimes wonder how long it will take for the child to obey!  Yesterday after I heard Susie scream, I went to investigate and before Susie could tell me what happened, I heard Ben say, "Trouble trouble trouble" and run away.  She didn't even have to tell me what happened.  I knew he had whacked her.  For what purpose, I do not know.  However, I was confident that he knew better.  Obedience is not Ben's forte.

I believe that our sinful human nature is magnified in children.  As adults, we learn to either crucify our flesh or embrace sin - sometimes secretively.  Children are typically very transparent and exceptionally good sinners.  It is our job as parents to teach them differently.  My mom did not tolerate disobedience in any form.  In fact, I am pretty sure that if I was thinking the wrong thing, I would soon experience the swift hand of justice.  I don't operate the same way as my mother did, but our goal is the same.  If I ask my children to do something, I want them to obey completely and immediately.  And I believe that God also expects the same.

When we get to Heaven I'm confident there will be no talking back or negotiating. We must obey God, but even better we will want to obey God.  I know we'll have new bodies and our sinful nature will be dead, but I'd like to think that practicing our sanctified nature here on earth will not only please God but also better prepare us for eternity.  My husband asked me on Sunday how I felt about a particular situation and followed it up with a question about what I felt like doing.  I literally laughed in his face.  Because, as I explained to him, how I felt had absolutely no bearing concerning what God was calling us to do.  In fact, I frequently feel like doing the wrong thing!  Maybe that part will disappear when we're with the Lord.  I hope so, because it will make obeying a lot easier!

Can you imagine standing before the Lord in Heaven and being asked to go fetch a pail of water?  Maybe it would seem ridiculous.  After all, does the Lord really NEED water?  Isn't He all sufficient?  And then I thought about what my kids would say if God asked them:

Isaac (9years old) "In a minute."  He's obedient in his own time.

Gabe (5 years old and whining) "Ugh!  That's too much work!" He tends to be disobedient unless there is something in it for him.

Susie (almost 4 years old) "Its too heavy.  I can't do it."  She is a lovely child who finds an excuse for everything!

Ben (23 months old) "NO!  Don't want to!"  He's contrary.  If you asked him to eat a cookie, which he loves, he'd probably tell you no just to be obstinate.

Annie (11 weeks) Smile. :)  I'm hoping Annie would just smile.  She's been doing that a lot lately.

So, except for Annie, I'm pretty sure my children aren't prepared for eternity.  Their sinful human nature is frequently evident in this house.  But with God's help, it will change.

How do I get my children to willingly obey?  I'm not sure.  I hope that the blend of incentive and discipline will work while they are young.  But alone, those are not enough.  It is crucial for children to understand that we all are tempted to do what is wrong - frequently by our own thoughts and feelings.  But it is imperative to understand what we are thinking and yet choose to do what is right.  It is important for them to understand that they need a savior from a young age and to grasp with the best of their ability what God has done for us.

Obedience is  naturally born out of thankfulness.  We see this on the news when a drowning swimmer is rescued by a passer by.  What is the first thing the survivor says?  Usually it is something along the lines of "Thank you," and "What can I do to repay you?"  So it is with us and our children.  If we live our lives with the daily reminder of all that God has done, obedience becomes a whole lot easier.  We cannot focus solely on the here and now.  This world is just the beginning.  God gave us the gift of salvation so that we may live eternally with Him.  When we focus on eternity and keep our eye on the prize, the cares of this world and the temptation to be disobedient weaken.  Philippians 4:13 reads, "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."  After all our citizenship is in Heaven.  Our life on earth is temporary, but our life with God is eternal.

Preparing Children for Eternity

It's that time of year again - back to school.  There are school supplies to buy, schedules to make, and lunches to pack.  Life gets a lot busier once school begins.  This year, Gabe starts kindergarten.  I suppose I should be all choked up that my second eldest is going to school, but to be honest, I'm not.  I remember getting sentimental when Isaac entered preschool.  Now I realize I'll be going through this for a while!  Lets face it, with 5+ kids you to experience these "firsts" over and over again.  And that got me thinking, "How does God do it?"  He has a ton of children!  While I'm preparing my children for school, sports, and life, God is preparing His for eternity. 

Then it hit me.  Shouldn't I be preparing my children for eternity too?  I suppose in some way I am.  We read our Bibles, pray, and talk about having a relationship with Christ.  We even discuss the rapture and Jesus' return.  But what does it mean to actually prepare our children for eternity?  Are they ready?  Am I doing my job as their mother?  Or have I focused too much on the here and now?  It is no secret that I really want to go to medical school and be the doctor I once thought I would be.  But how do I fit that into my life when it is so busy - and at what cost? 

Last night I watched Ann Romney talk about choosing to be a stay at home mother when all of her friends went on to successful careers.  She emphatically stated that she could have become anything she wanted to be - that she was an intelligent woman and choosing to stay at home with her 5 boys wasn't her only option.  I could relate.  As I'm attempting to follow in her footsteps it is very difficult.  I'm ambitious.  I like to learn.  And I appreciate intelligent conversations with other adults.  Being a stay-at-home mom can be very tedious, redundant, and unscientific.  My conversations tend to revolve around household chores, potty training, refereeing sibling disagreements, and obedience.  I'm physically and emotionally drained at the end of most days.  And though my children are, for the most part, wonderful, I still long for adult conversations (mostly about math and science) and a world beyond my kids.

Still I have to ask myself, given all the opportunities in the world, what is the most important job God has assigned to me?  It isn't becoming a doctor; it isn't continuing with teaching; it isn't even merely raising my children.  It is in fact, preparing my children for eternity.  Next, I have to figure out how.  I'm sure I'll approach it in a logical fashion based upon Biblical principles.  And even though I despise writing, it will give me something to write about.  If you're interested stay tuned.

Turn My Heart

Have you ever found yourself in an uncomfortable place?  A place where it feels downright unnatural to obey God?  I know I've said more than once, "I'll do it, but I don't want to and I'm not happy about it!"  I am probably too honest about my humanity when I talk with God.  I'm certain I am far from what He wants me to be, but I also know there is no sense in pretending otherwise.

Have you ever wanted to obey joyfully in all things?  I know that has been my prayer.  Yet I find my humanity creeps in and desires its own way.  As I think about those I love, my husband, my children, and my grandparents, I have discovered that the more devotion in my heart, the easier it is to obey.  Which makes me wonder, could I be more devoted to a person than I am to the Lord?  I often remember my grandpa.  Before he passed away, I talked to him daily.  He always told me he loved me.  I would visit as often as I could and do whatever he needed, though he would never ask for anything.  I loved to clean his home, fold his clothes, and sit and talk.  Other than my grandma, I can't think of someone who has loved me more.  I don't think there was anything he could have asked me to do that I wouldn't have done. I was utterly devoted.

I have confessed to the Lord that in some respects I actually loved my grandpa more than I've love Him.  I know that should not be.  But I also know that as I have grown in my faith, God has done in many instances that which I am unable to do.  He has turned my heart. 

I don't know how He does it, but I can point to many instances where God has turned my heart from my own way to His way - just recently, from working to staying at home with my children.  I have a long way to go.  My heart is often in this world and with people in my family.  Not that it is wrong when we love His creation and His people, but it is wrong when that love usurps God's place in our heart.

I am grateful that our God is so generous - that He allows us to love others, that He is patient with us as we learn to put Him first in all things.  I pray that I would love His will at all times, that I would be concerned with His work, and that I would joyfully be devoted to Him.  I am also so thankful that I was blessed to have grandparents who demonstrated Christ's love in such a tangible way.  Even though they may usurp God's rightful place in my heart on occasion, by their example I long to draw closer to Him each and every day.  And so, as we celebrate Valentine's Day, I would once again ask God to turn my heat towards Him and His will.

When I Die

I was recently asked by a teenager, "What should I say to God when I die?"  Good question.  Not knowing the person's relationship with Christ I gave her a somewhat elaborate answer that I will actually copy and paste into a separate post.  However, as I mulled over my own opinion and looked up some scripture verses, I became more and more convinced that we all need to be very aware of what we might say to God when we finally meet Him face to face.  Because whether or not, your soul is saved, every single person on this earth will be meeting his or her Maker.  Death and a face to face encounter with the Creator are both inevitable - it doesn't matter what you believe.

Have you ever read this passage?

Matthew 25 14-30

The Parable of the Bags of Gold

    ¹⁴ “Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. ¹⁵ To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag,^[a] each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. ¹⁶ The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. ¹⁷ So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. ¹⁸ But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.    ¹⁹ “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. ²⁰ The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’
   ²¹ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
   ²² “The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’
   ²³ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
   ²⁴ “Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. ²⁵ So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’
   ²⁶ “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? ²⁷ Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
   ²⁸ “‘So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. ²⁹ For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. ³⁰ And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’


I must have been about 12 years old, when I first heard this parable, and I was horrified!  I could relate to the man with one bag of gold.  I wouldn't know what to do with the money, and probably the best thing I could have done was put it in a safe place and save it for my master when he returned.  Then to find out that God throws this man into hell seems extremely unjust!  And for many years I was confused.  Was this man so horrible that he deserved hell?  After all he was doing what he thought best.  Or is there some unwritten code that God expects me to follow that I don't know about?  How could a man who doesn't know any better be thrown into Hell for all eternity?

Then, it dawned on me.  This man had very little idea who his master was.  Instead of seeking to do what his master thought was best, he decided to do what he thought was best.  There is the clincher.  How often do we fall into that trap?  If you know me, I frequently believe I know what I'm talking about.  I can be extremely confident in certain areas and often will refuse to have an opinion or join in a conversation regarding something I know little about.  

Similarly, I wrestle with God over scriptures that I don't understand.  Knowing that I will always lose, ironically, I never give in right away.  I'll ask questions, argue, study, debate, and have conversations with God that probably seem extremely disrespectful.  I get frustrated when I'm asked to do something and I'm not told why.  Ultimately, I'll obey, crucifying my own will, I attempt with everything that is in me to be joyful about it.  But God knows me, He knows my weaknesses, and has given me my strengths.  Though I am far from perfect, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt who my Savior is.  And I have learned through life and Scripture that there is nothing I can do to save myself. 


There are so many different ideas in this world about how to get to Heaven and what we may say to God when we meet him face to face.  Unfortunately, most people I know believe that we're all going to Heaven, or that there are multiple ways to get there.  Some have the audacity to believe that there are different paths for different people and that what is true for one isn't true for another - as if we are the ultimate authority!  


For one moment, let's assume that is true - that we get to decide all things about our world including everything concerning the afterlife.  So, did we get to decide when we were born?  To whom we were born?  How about how much money we make?  Or what kind of diseases we would or would not contract?  Height?  Time?  Gravity?  Planets?  I could go on and on.  Of course not.  That is absurd!  Neither did we create what is around us, nor did we create ourselves, nor do we make the rules, or even have the authority to change the rules!  And I dare anyone who disagrees with me to prove it!  It is impossible.  Just as we cannot change the natural laws, so we cannot change the spiritual laws.  Certainly scientists wrestle with scientific truths as they learn more about the world, and so do we wrestle with spiritual truths as we learn more about our Creator.  However, in the wrestling we never win, we only learn.


But God has appointed a time for the wrestling match to be over.  He has given us only this lifetime to accept the truths that He has established and to foster a personal relationship with Christ.  Before we die, our mind must decide.  Do we continue to balk our Creator, to deny the Messiah, and do things our own way, naively believing that whatever we deem to be will be?  Or do we respond to that seed God has planted in all of our hearts - that he is who he says he is? (Romans 1:19-20 below)  And if you still aren't certain about who God is and what He has done, try reading Job 38-42a (also below).  It is humbling to say the least.


We do not get to pick the rules we like best and ignore the rest.  I don't get to decide that per-marital sex is okay when the Word of God dictates that even lust in your heart is sin.  I don't get to determine that stealing food out of need is acceptable if I'm hungry enough.  I may not profess that leading a gay lifestyle is acceptable to God, when the Word of God forbids it.  I also don't get to decide that everyone goes to Heaven, when the Word of God is clear that most do not!  Christians tend to pick and choose the scriptures and rules they like best and ignore the rest.  But God has clearly said that His Ways and only His Ways are righteous.  We do not get to decide which religion will bring us to the destination we desire.  Truth be told, no religion brings you to Heaven - only a relationship with Christ.   I don't have to like everything the Bible teaches.  I also may not always understand God's ways.  I will and do wrestle with many things.  But this should not be surprising.  God said, "My ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:9)  However, ultimately I must my submit my will and my logic to His.

After we die, every last one of us will stand before His throne.  What will you say?  Where will you be?  Will you humble yourself now and seek Christ.  Or will you be humbled after this life is over and regret forever the decisions you have made on earth.  Now is the time to think it through.  Because there will be a point in time when it is too late.

Romans 1:19-20

¹⁹ since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. ²⁰ For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

Job 38

The LORD Speaks

 ¹ Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:  ² “Who is this that obscures my plans
   with words without knowledge?
³ Brace yourself like a man;
   I will question you,
   and you shall answer me.
 ⁴ “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
   Tell me, if you understand.
⁵ Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
   Who stretched a measuring line across it?
⁶ On what were its footings set,
   or who laid its cornerstone—
⁷ while the morning stars sang together
   and all the angels shouted for joy?
 ⁸ “Who shut up the sea behind doors
   when it burst forth from the womb,
⁹ when I made the clouds its garment
   and wrapped it in thick darkness,
¹⁰ when I fixed limits for it
   and set its doors and bars in place,
¹¹ when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
   here is where your proud waves halt’?
 ¹² “Have you ever given orders to the morning,
   or shown the dawn its place,
¹³ that it might take the earth by the edges
   and shake the wicked out of it?
¹⁴ The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
   its features stand out like those of a garment.
¹⁵ The wicked are denied their light,
   and their upraised arm is broken.
 ¹⁶ “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
   or walked in the recesses of the deep?
¹⁷ Have the gates of death been shown to you?
   Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
¹⁸ Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
   Tell me, if you know all this.
 ¹⁹ “What is the way to the abode of light?
   And where does darkness reside?
²⁰ Can you take them to their places?
   Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
²¹ Surely you know, for you were already born!
   You have lived so many years!
 ²² “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
   or seen the storehouses of the hail,
²³ which I reserve for times of trouble,
   for days of war and battle?
²⁴ What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,
   or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?
²⁵ Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,
   and a path for the thunderstorm,
²⁶ to water a land where no one lives,
   an uninhabited desert,
²⁷ to satisfy a desolate wasteland
   and make it sprout with grass?
²⁸ Does the rain have a father?
   Who fathers the drops of dew?
²⁹ From whose womb comes the ice?
   Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens
³⁰ when the waters become hard as stone,
   when the surface of the deep is frozen?
 ³¹ “Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades?
   Can you loosen Orion’s belt?
³² Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons
   or lead out the Bear with its cubs?
³³ Do you know the laws of the heavens?
   Can you set up God’s dominion over the earth?
 ³⁴ “Can you raise your voice to the clouds
   and cover yourself with a flood of water?
³⁵ Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
   Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?
³⁶ Who gives the ibis wisdom
   or gives the rooster understanding?
³⁷ Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?
   Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens
³⁸ when the dust becomes hard
   and the clods of earth stick together?
 ³⁹ “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness
   and satisfy the hunger of the lions
⁴⁰ when they crouch in their dens
   or lie in wait in a thicket?
⁴¹ Who provides food for the raven
   when its young cry out to God
   and wander about for lack of food?

Job 39

 ¹ “Do you know when the mountain goats give birth?
   Do you watch when the doe bears her fawn?
² Do you count the months till they bear?
   Do you know the time they give birth?
³ They crouch down and bring forth their young;
   their labor pains are ended.
⁴ Their young thrive and grow strong in the wilds;
   they leave and do not return.
 ⁵ “Who let the wild donkey go free?
   Who untied its ropes?
⁶ I gave it the wasteland as its home,
   the salt flats as its habitat.
⁷ It laughs at the commotion in the town;
   it does not hear a driver’s shout.
⁸ It ranges the hills for its pasture
   and searches for any green thing.
 ⁹ “Will the wild ox consent to serve you?
   Will it stay by your manger at night?
¹⁰ Can you hold it to the furrow with a harness?
   Will it till the valleys behind you?
¹¹ Will you rely on it for its great strength?
   Will you leave your heavy work to it?
¹² Can you trust it to haul in your grain
   and bring it to your threshing floor?
 ¹³ “The wings of the ostrich flap joyfully,
   though they cannot compare
   with the wings and feathers of the stork.
¹⁴ She lays her eggs on the ground
   and lets them warm in the sand,
¹⁵ unmindful that a foot may crush them,
   that some wild animal may trample them.
¹⁶ She treats her young harshly, as if they were not hers;
   she cares not that her labor was in vain,
¹⁷ for God did not endow her with wisdom
   or give her a share of good sense.
¹⁸ Yet when she spreads her feathers to run,
   she laughs at horse and rider.
 ¹⁹ “Do you give the horse its strength
   or clothe its neck with a flowing mane?
²⁰ Do you make it leap like a locust,
   striking terror with its proud snorting?
²¹ It paws fiercely, rejoicing in its strength,
   and charges into the fray.
²² It laughs at fear, afraid of nothing;
   it does not shy away from the sword.
²³ The quiver rattles against its side,
   along with the flashing spear and lance.
²⁴ In frenzied excitement it eats up the ground;
   it cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds.
²⁵ At the blast of the trumpet it snorts, ‘Aha!’
   It catches the scent of battle from afar,
   the shout of commanders and the battle cry.
 ²⁶ “Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom
   and spread its wings toward the south?
²⁷ Does the eagle soar at your command
   and build its nest on high?
²⁸ It dwells on a cliff and stays there at night;
   a rocky crag is its stronghold.
²⁹ From there it looks for food;
   its eyes detect it from afar.
³⁰ Its young ones feast on blood,
   and where the slain are, there it is.”

Job 40

 ¹ The LORD said to Job:
 ² “Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
   Let him who accuses God answer him!”
 ³ Then Job answered the LORD:
 ⁴ “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
   I put my hand over my mouth.
⁵ I spoke once, but I have no answer—
   twice, but I will say no more.”
 ⁶ Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm:
 ⁷ “Brace yourself like a man;
   I will question you,
   and you shall answer me.
 ⁸ “Would you discredit my justice?
   Would you condemn me to justify yourself?
⁹ Do you have an arm like God’s,
   and can your voice thunder like his?
¹⁰ Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor,
   and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.
¹¹ Unleash the fury of your wrath,
   look at all who are proud and bring them low,
¹² look at all who are proud and humble them,
   crush the wicked where they stand.
¹³ Bury them all in the dust together;
   shroud their faces in the grave.
¹⁴ Then I myself will admit to you
   that your own right hand can save you.
 ¹⁵ “Look at Behemoth,
   which I made along with you
   and which feeds on grass like an ox.
¹⁶ What strength it has in its loins,
   what power in the muscles of its belly!
¹⁷ Its tail sways like a cedar;
   the sinews of its thighs are close-knit.
¹⁸ Its bones are tubes of bronze,
   its limbs like rods of iron.
¹⁹ It ranks first among the works of God,
   yet its Maker can approach it with his sword.
²⁰ The hills bring it their produce,
   and all the wild animals play nearby.
²¹ Under the lotus plants it lies,
   hidden among the reeds in the marsh.
²² The lotuses conceal it in their shadow;
   the poplars by the stream surround it.
²³ A raging river does not alarm it;
   it is secure, though the Jordan should surge against its mouth.
²⁴ Can anyone capture it by the eyes,
   or trap it and pierce its nose?

Job 41

 ¹ “Can you pull in Leviathan with a fishhook
   or tie down its tongue with a rope?
² Can you put a cord through its nose
   or pierce its jaw with a hook?
³ Will it keep begging you for mercy?
   Will it speak to you with gentle words?
⁴ Will it make an agreement with you
   for you to take it as your slave for life?
⁵ Can you make a pet of it like a bird
   or put it on a leash for the young women in your house?
⁶ Will traders barter for it?
   Will they divide it up among the merchants?
⁷ Can you fill its hide with harpoons
   or its head with fishing spears?
⁸ If you lay a hand on it,
   you will remember the struggle and never do it again!
⁹ Any hope of subduing it is false;
   the mere sight of it is overpowering.
¹⁰ No one is fierce enough to rouse it.
   Who then is able to stand against me?
¹¹ Who has a claim against me that I must pay?
   Everything under heaven belongs to me.
 ¹² “I will not fail to speak of Leviathan’s limbs,
   its strength and its graceful form.
¹³ Who can strip off its outer coat?
   Who can penetrate its double coat of armor^[i]?
¹⁴ Who dares open the doors of its mouth,
   ringed about with fearsome teeth?
¹⁵ Its back has^[j] rows of shields
   tightly sealed together;
¹⁶ each is so close to the next
   that no air can pass between.
¹⁷ They are joined fast to one another;
   they cling together and cannot be parted.
¹⁸ Its snorting throws out flashes of light;
   its eyes are like the rays of dawn.
¹⁹ Flames stream from its mouth;
   sparks of fire shoot out.
²⁰ Smoke pours from its nostrils
   as from a boiling pot over burning reeds.
²¹ Its breath sets coals ablaze,
   and flames dart from its mouth.
²² Strength resides in its neck;
   dismay goes before it.
²³ The folds of its flesh are tightly joined;
   they are firm and immovable.
²⁴ Its chest is hard as rock,
   hard as a lower millstone.
²⁵ When it rises up, the mighty are terrified;
   they retreat before its thrashing.
²⁶ The sword that reaches it has no effect,
   nor does the spear or the dart or the javelin.
²⁷ Iron it treats like straw
   and bronze like rotten wood.
²⁸ Arrows do not make it flee;
   slingstones are like chaff to it.
²⁹ A club seems to it but a piece of straw;
   it laughs at the rattling of the lance.
³⁰ Its undersides are jagged potsherds,
   leaving a trail in the mud like a threshing sledge.
³¹ It makes the depths churn like a boiling caldron
   and stirs up the sea like a pot of ointment.
³² It leaves a glistening wake behind it;
   one would think the deep had white hair.
³³ Nothing on earth is its equal—
   a creature without fear.
³⁴ It looks down on all that are haughty;
   it is king over all that are proud.”

Job 42

Job

 ¹ Then Job replied to the LORD:  ² “I know that you can do all things;
   no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
³ You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
   Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
   things too wonderful for me to know.
 ⁴ “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
   I will question you,
   and you shall answer me.’
⁵ My ears had heard of you
   but now my eyes have seen you.
⁶ Therefore I despise myself
   and repent in dust and ashes.”

What will I say?

This is the question and response I gave to a young adult who asked the question of me.

When I die, what do I say to God?

I’ve thought about this multiple times over the course of many years.  When I was young, I thought about all the questions I would ask Him – such as, Why did you give me so many zits in high school? or Why do you let little children suffer?  Admittedly, I had and still do have many many questions about the world, creation, and evil itself.  Then again, I’d also be extremely happy to be in Heaven.  I used to think I’d be overjoyed and run up and give Him a hug!  But as I got older and was confronted with the death of family members and friends, I had to wrestle with the concept of death.  It isn’t a fun subject, but we’re all headed in that direction.  Inevitably, we all die.  Then what?

The secular world would like you to believe that either we all go to Heaven or we simply cease to exist.  The first seems extremely wonderful the next equally as sad.  But neither opinion is true.  And if we think about it, maybe it wouldn’t be so wonderful if the really evil people of the world - the murderers, rapists, and abusers were with us again, just as they were on earth!  And what a cruel joke it would be if we were created with no purpose only to die and never exist again!  Without quoting scriptures, it is easy to see that both viewpoints simply don’t add up.  So, what truly happens? 

Fortunately, the Bible gives us many examples to show us:

First – that we were created for a purpose.

Second – that we live on in another location after our time on earth is done.

And third – that our decisions here on earth determine that location and also what we may say to God when we meet Him face to face.

What is our purpose?  We were created to please God.  (Colossians 1:16 and Revelation 4:11) He desires to fellowship with us (1 Corinthians 1:9) and He has given us rules to live by that guide us in pleasing Him and fellowshipping with Him.

Where do we go when we die?  The Bible provides for two locations after death – Heaven or Hell.  (Luke 10:15)

If we love Jesus and have a sincere relationship with Him, then he has paid the debt for our sin and we will live with Him in Heaven. (John 14:6)  Our response to Him will probably be based on complete awe, gratitude, humility, and love.

If however, we reject Jesus as our Lord and Savior, then we will not be with Him, but rather separated from God and condemned to live in Hell.  (John 12:48)  And so our response to Him will be very different.  We cannot pretend to have loved Him.  We will undoubtedly be very sorry for the choices we have made, and honestly, I’m not exactly sure what someone in that position would dare utter to the God of the universe.

There is only one passage in the Bible that directly addresses what all people’s response to God will be:

Romans 14:11-12

“11 It is written:

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will acknowledge God.’”

12 So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.

Regardless of our relationship with the Lord on earth, every single person after death will bow and acknowledge God for whom He is.  If we choose to accept Christ as Lord and Savior, He will pay the debt for our sin, and that broken relationship between God and ourselves will be healed.  We will be greeted with grace.  But if we live for ourselves and don’t realize our need for a Savior until after we have passed from this earth, we will be met with harsh judgment and condemned to Hell.  Either way, we will all recognize and acknowledge God for whom He is – the creator of this world whose love is just as great as His wrath.  We will also have a much better understanding of who we are – mere humans incapable of saving ourselves.  I do not know what each of us will say to God, but I do know that we will be struck with humility and our relationship with God will make all the difference in how we are permitted to approach his throne.

Undercover Missions

Before I delve into my chosen topic of the night, I'd like to explain my recent prolonged silence. After losing our last baby, and having a D&C, I was originally diagnosed with Gestational Trophoblastic Disease. However, the pathologist said there seemed to be something different about my slides. Something didn't quite match up, so they sent them on to Johns Hopkins to be analyzed by a doctor who is on the cutting edge of research with patients who exhibit similar symptoms. My hcg was monitored every two days for a few weeks and then weekly for many months. The numbers didn't fall as quickly as they should have and then even began to rise. I was prepared for chemo and a long ordeal with the potential of a hysterectomy. But by the grace of God, Johns Hopkins gave me a different diagnosis, one that is exceptionally rare (or perhaps very rarely diagnosed) and is much less serious. This doesn't explain all of the issues, but it was enough for my doctor to allow me to get pregnant again and hopefully deliver a healthy child before my insurance runs out this summer. And so, I am now almost done with my first trimester, we've seen the heart beat, and things are looking up.

I enjoyed learning a lot more about advanced science and the study of chromosomes during this process. Emotionally, I've experienced miscarriages before, and so, though it was difficult, I completely understand that it is all out of my hands. My doctor and I had many discussions about the complexities of my medical problems and even more so the miracle of life. I greatly appreciated her insight and the few lunches she gave up just to sit and talk with me. During this process, she reawakened my love for science and medicine which I put on the back burner my third year of undergrad. And she very earnestly encouraged me to apply to medical school as a non-traditional student. I thought it was probably a long shot since I've been out of the biological sciences for so long, but after meeting with MSU CHM admissions, I was floored. Never before has God opened a door so wide. I was told my chances of getting in are very good and he asked me to apply early admission! AWESOME! Go God! To be honest, I'm not in yet. I have not applied and still have to take my MCATs. I'm going to take a few years to take some advanced biological science classes so it is all fresh in my mind, allow my young children to get a few years under their belt, and then apply just after my MCATs are finished.

But what does this have to do with undercover missions? Derik and I firmly believe that what we do now will be greatly enhanced as we both become doctors - mental health for him, physical medicine for me. Many of you reading this actually don't know a lot about our family. I know - hard to believe - but we aren't very social! Partly because we don't have much time and hold very busy schedules, but also because we are on a mission. No, we don't do a lot at church. No, I'm not a big shopper and don't have a thing for fashion or home decorating, so I rarely participate in shopping adventures. I actually loathe movies - so that's out too. And Derik works a couple of jobs - counseling combat veterans and teaching for GVSU's grad school. So connecting with others our age, happens only on occasion. You'd be surprised about how many people have come up to us at church and said in not so many words, and sometimes straight out "You should really be more involved in missions!" We just chuckle.

What exactly is missions? Yes, the most obvious answer is - missions consists of missionaries who are sponsored by local churches and go out into other countries to preach the good news. Yup. That's true. I've also been told that missions is taking care of those who are in need in the church. And while I've been the recipient of wonderful meals for a week or two after a baby is born and GREATLY appreciate the help, I'm not exactly convinced that is missions. I'd characterize it more as congregational care - which is important, but not missions. Then there are events sponsored by local churches for the community - most of which require needy people/families to come to a church for food, clothes, services, etc. This may border on missions, but I'd classify it more as community outreach. So what is missions?

Matthew 28:19-20

"¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” "

Mark 2:13-17

¹³ Once again Jesus went out beside the lake. A large crowd came to him, and he began to teach them. ¹⁴ As he walked along, he saw Levi son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” Jesus told him, and Levi got up and followed him.

¹⁵ While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. ¹⁶ When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

¹⁷ On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

If we use these two references to guide our thoughts on missions, we can determine that the first command is to "go" or in some versions, "go out". So, to truly be a missionary, you need to take a step out of your home and out of your church. Secondly, we are called to reach the sinners - to eat with them, talk with them, and make inroads into their lives. Now, I am in no way advocating going to your local bar to hang out on the weekend to make friends. But it is our family's mission to walk and talk with people that are swamped by sin. They may be addicted to drugs or alcohol. They may be extremely promiscuous and make very poor decisions rearing children. Often they look very different than we do. They aren't necessarily our next door neighbors. They may have a problem with theft and anger. And in almost every single instance, they are all recipients of abuse. Their stories are frequently very sad and filled with horrific experiences beginning in their childhood. And the very last place they want to be is church. The very last thing they want to hear is that a loving God allowed all of this evil to take place in their lives.

In light of this, we have decided to practice undercover missions. Even though I may be very vocal about my faith at church and even online, when my husband and I operate covertly with those who most need Christ, our first objective is to sincerely care, listen, and walk along side of them. As we listen, they listen. As we show them we care, we can then explain why we care. I believe that there is absolutely nothing more that God cares about than a person's soul. He desires for each and every one of the lost to come to know him as Lord and Savior and to truly love Him. So many people are afraid of church traditions. When do I stand up? When do I sit down? What is this new language that they use in services? Will I be rejected if I don't dress correctly? Or what if I accidentally curse as I'm so accustomed to doing? Church can be VERY STRESSFUL for those people who think they have to fit a certain mold. So, for this reason, we generally don't bring anyone to church unless they request it. I don't recall anywhere in the Bible where Jesus went out and recruited people to come to Synagogue. It just isn't there. Instead people are called to acknowledge their sins, repent, and turn from their wicked ways. To understand they need a savior and that the only one who can save their soul is Jesus Christ - God himself.

Missions isn't a onetime event. And success cannot be measured by us. It is God who knows and sees the heart of man. Missions isn't something we do to garner attention. It is something we do out of love for our God and out of love for our lost brothers and sisters. Missions is not a glamorous calling. It is something that will lead you into trailer parks, laundry mats, and even stinky flea infested homes.

I've heard the argument that going into these kinds of places is dangerous - after all we choose not to live there for a reason. Yes, it is true. But my soul is saved! What do I have to lose? Isn't it more dangerous to do nothing and turn a blind eye while their souls rush into hell? Do you not understand what hell is? That it is eternal? We have one opportunity - our life on earth - to commit our life to the Lord and to spread the Good News. That's it. You don't get to go to Heaven and begin missions then! If your child wasn't saved, wouldn't you want to move mountains to reach them and give them the truth? Maybe your children are saved, but not all of God's children are and he desires for not one to be lost!

Now, in all of this, our family is not perfect. We are not professional missionaries, and generally don't even talk about what we do with friends or extended family. But I would encourage you to reconsider your idea of missions. There are many excuses why people don't personally reach out into their communities, but do any of them leverage weight against hell? We recently ran into people who didn't even realize that we have homeless youth in Oceana County. We also have many youth who are the victims of incest. Dad's who rape their daughters regularly and have fathered children with them. Child abuse in this county is out of control! Drug abuse is in the same category. We have elderly who are too proud to ask for help, live very lonely lives, and go hungry and cold far too often. Do you know your neighbors? Okay, you probably know your immediate neighbors, but do you know the people who live in the trailer park down the street - or perhaps the "freak" who constantly walks past your home with nothing to do. Yes, I recently had a student tell me that people yell "freak" at him as he walks by a certain stretch of road. He's different, perhaps dangerous in certain situations, and yet - loved by God. I'm not going the leave my children with him unattended, but I'm not going to turn my back on him either.

Do you not realize that within 15 miles of your home serious evil takes place? The devil is making inroads into the hearts of children. He's searing their souls and claiming them as his own. He's with the elderly on their death beds lying to them - telling them they are unloved and it would be better to die. But hell lies in waiting. We are all called to be undercover missionaries. To speak truth and love into the lives of these people. The devil is not the only one who has a voice. We do too, and even if it may seem to fall on deaf ears, walking along side of the needy, forgotten, broken hearted is never in vain. Your children learn by your example. If you isolate yourself and live in a world full of Christians, abundance, and safety, then what are you teaching your children? We deal with some very interesting people, and yes, it is possible to teach your children to be discerning. Everyone who comes to our door, is not allowed inside. Often, you find Dad and send him out!

Also, I should mention that missions isn't about giving people money or stuff. There are certainly times when we provide warm clothes, food, etc, but often anonymously though other people. It is important to make sure a person's basic needs are met, but it undermines God's purpose in their lives to enable sinful behavior. We're not an ATM machine for our kids or for the poor. Boundaries are crucial when it comes to missions. Establishing boundaries is not only important for the giver, but also for the receiver.

Nevertheless, having a close personal relationship with God and following His leading should always be your guide. Just as we don't parent all of our children the same, we don't interact with every non-Christian in the same fashion. No one is perfect, sometimes we fall flat on our faces in relationships with people - or at least we think we have. But nothing can replace a genuine love for people and a sincere fearfulness for their souls. I admit, I love sinners - the really good sinners! They are so raw and honest. They do what makes them feel good, yet if you get right down to it, most of them hate evil. They've experienced way too much of it in life. My heart yearns for them and my soul pleads for their salvation. I interact much better with them than most Christians.  I really love sinners, but at the same time I hate sin. I tell my students at school that no, I'm not "fun". I haven't done drugs. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't swear. I don't party, and I don't even listen to "cool" music. And once they realize who I am and that I sincerely care about them, it all doesn't really matter anymore. I've had my share of suffering, and I'll share those stories on individual basis. So, I'd encourage you to step out of your home, out of your church and into those places you wouldn't normally go and talk and walk with others who desperately need to know Christ. You don't have to have a lot in common with them. You just have to see them as God sees them.

My Greatest Fear

I've been meaning to write about this for sometime, but given the unforeseen circumstances of the past few weeks, it got put on the back burner.  However, it is finally time to write about something near and dear to my heart.  Money. 

I think a lot about money, about budgeting, debt, and saving.  It seems that most people in this world do too!  I love to get a good deal, and if you’ve ever been to my house and seen my basement storage, you’ll notice that I buy when things are on sale, frequently before I need them.  I used coupons liberally before it was fashionable and I buy my children’s clothes for pennies on the dollar long before they grow into them.  We rarely buy anything at full price and often buy used.  Having said that, my fear is not that we won’t have what we need but that we will have way beyond what we need.

How much money is too much money?  How much stuff is too much stuff?  A long time ago, I learned about the word “mammon,” which was described to me as the love of money and the stuff money can buy.  And since then, I have feared that mammon would find its way into my life and my family.  Almost every night before I go to bed, I lie in bed talking with God, and search my heart for anything that may be usurping His place.  How would I feel if I lost my home and it burned to the ground?  Would I blame God?  Would I feel slighted?  What if my husband and I both lost our jobs and had no way to pay our bills, would my attitude change?  Would I be overwhelmed with anxiety?  What if we only had enough food for today and no way to feed our family tomorrow?  How would the lack of the security of money change who I am? 

In America, we rarely ask ourselves these questions, because even if it all were to happen we have safety nets in place.  Insurance, family, church, food banks, homeless shelters, even hospitals that are required to attend to serious medical needs can save me from those unforeseen circumstances.  So, in whom or what does my security lie?  If I strip it all away, who am I at the core? 

Conversely, what if God chooses to bless me elaborately?  My husband and I sometimes wonder what it would be like to win the lottery.  (Though admittedly, we’d have to start playing first.)  What would we do with all of that money?  Pay our bills, be debt free, tithe, build our new home…many many ideas come to mind.  But what if God called us to give it all away?  Would we?  As he blesses us in new areas, do we spend it as we please, save for the future, or are we willing to acknowledge that nothing is ours?  That everything we have comes from God, and that we are merely caretakers of his possessions for a short time! 

As I consider all of this, I have come to believe that it may be more of a blessing to have little than to have much.  I have said before, and I’ll say it again, probably the greatest curse on earth is to have so much that you never recognize your need for God.   Mammon.  The god of this world has infiltrated the United States with a vengeance, and many aren’t even aware it is here.

Now that I know how dire the situation is for me, how do I impart this knowledge to my children?  A few of the hazards our youth may encounter are easy to recognize.  Secular music and the media are some of the vilest offenders.  But what about the overabundance in America?  Does your child really need a new backpack every year for school?  How much food does he/she expect to be in the house and what if you don’t have food they enjoy?  Are we raising children to expect they will get everything they want and to be upset when they don’t?  How can a child learn the attitude of gratefulness and thankfulness when all they desire is available?  And what is the difference between a want and a need?  Would you dare send your child to school with a half used notebook from last year?  Or do they NEED a brand new one (that they probably won’t up completely again this year)?  If our children become accustomed and expect to maintain a specific level of materialism in their lives, what are we really teaching them about life and about God?

When something goes “wrong”, or rather as you wouldn’t expect it to, do you ask, “Why me?”  You probably would if you felt entitled to have your way!  Just because a parent may have the ability to provide all the comforts and conveniences of life to their children does not mean they should.  Does our God give us everything we ask for?  Certainly not!  Because the world does not revolve around us, it revolves around Him.  His plans are greater, His purposes are holier, and His glory is first and foremost – not ours.  If mammon is not addressed in the lives of our children at a young age, why would we think that they would naturally love and serve God?  Wouldn’t it be more natural to run after mammon than Christ?  I’m not advocating that we deprive our children, but I am suggesting that we pay a lot more attention to the role of money and things in our lives and in our families - and that we redefine what it means to be “deprived!”

Truth be told, I disagree with my parents concerning many areas of my upbringing.  However, I am eternally grateful for some of the crucial lessons my mother taught me.  I was taught that I don’t get everything I ask for.  I was not allowed to decide how to spend all of my OWN hard earned money, and I was expected to obey - not because I’ll get a reward but because I am a child and that’s what children do.  I abhorred these lessons!  Many of my peers had designer clothes, but I rarely did.  I started working full time during the summers at 12 years old, and I desired to spend my money on stuff I wanted, but I was forced to save and tithe.  Even though I earned that money, I was informed that it was not mine to begin with.  And I can’t remember a single time when my mother bribed me to obey.  In fact, the expectation was to obey, and if I didn’t, it was a swift hand to the rear.  I am thankful for these lessons now, because without them, my attitude and my faith would be very different!  

The very beginning of faith, lies in the belief that we are sinners, worthy of nothing, and in need of a Savior.  But if we believe, or even worse, teach our children that we are good and deserve to have good things, we risk alienating them from Christ.  What God created was good!  And he does love us!  But sin entered in and messed up the perfection of creation.  Without Him, we are nothing.  We need Him.  Our lives are to be focused on and around Him.  Everything we have is His and He decides when we’re born and when we die, what we are to keep and what we are to give away.  He desires perfect obedience from us, not because He wants to hamper our joy, but because He desires for everyone to be saved – and we are to share in that goal and obey his leading.  Strangely, as we let go of our love for the things of this world and fall more deeply in love with Christ, He tends to bless us beyond what we imagined.  When we let go of mammon, He can trust us to distribute it as He pleases.  God never wants to be second to anything in our lives.  And if the love of money and materialism has a grip on your heart, life can become exceedingly difficult.  God is not satisfied with His creation worshiping creation.  We are only to worship Him. 

No matter how much or how little we have, that love for stuff can hold a heavy grip on our hearts and our children.  It is no wonder Jesus talked about this by saying, “Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” (Matthew 19:24)  How many of us are rich in America?  All of us.  Not a single person can get through life without addressing this issue.  It doesn’t matter if you tithe, if you donate to good causes, if you work hard for your money, if you have a million dollars or only a dollar to your name, mammon wants your soul.  “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” (Matthew 6:24)