Too Many Children

"You know where those come from, don't you?"  *wink* *wink*

"So how many fathers do your kids have?"

"That's just irresponsible."

"Wow!  You have a lot of kids.  Did you give birth to them all?"

These are a few of the sayings which have been thrown my way, usually in front of my children (but not my husband) over the past year.  I have pretty thick skin, and sometimes a sharp tongue, so none of these comments sit too deeply.  But when I ask these commenters questions like, "How many siblings did you have?" I find it interesting that frequently they come from families with 4 or more children.  Interesting how in one generation, maybe two, the family size has taken a nose dive.

I'm not exactly sure why parents are no longer having a lot of children.  There is plenty of speculation: divorce, selfishness, career choices, dislike for children, cultural pressures, etc.  No one can really pin point the exact reason family size is shrinking.  However, in light of the shift against families with more than 3 children, I'd like to highlight the positives.

1) My children are forced to learn to share.  No one gets their own room forever.  No one gets to play the computer, video games, or watch TV all day.  No one gets their way all the time.  Everyone has to learn to compromise because we simply don't have the resources to please everyone all the time.  When someone wants to watch a movie, they have to find a movie that works for everyone.  I hope this will help to make them better spouses and parents, because in life we simply don't get our way all the time, nor should we.

2) My children learn to work.  Yes, my house is messy most of the time.  However, every child has to pitch in every day.  They learn from a young age that there is a lot of work to be done and we all have to work together to accomplish it.  The young ones might not sweep the floor perfectly, but they must work up to their own ability.  If you try to slide, another child is going to rat you out because no one wants to have to pick up the slack simply because you don't feel like working that day.  This too, is a good lesson in life.

3) My children have to learn to accept, live with, and love different personalities.  Every child in this family has a unique personality.  One is a stinker, another is overly joyful.  One talks incessantly, another hardly says a word.  One is extremely serious, another jokes around constantly.  God made people of all sorts of personalities and we have to learn to not only live with one another but love them for who they are.

4) My children practice forgiveness.  Lest you think it is all roses around here, every day one child is angry at another child for one reason or another.  But, the angry child isn't leaving nor is the object of that child's wrath.  Problems have to be worked through, feelings have to be appropriately expressed, and forgiveness has to be given.  After all, we must all live in the same house and it isn't okay to hold grudges.  Every day is a new day and a fresh start.  In life, you don't get to pick your co-workers so you might as well learn to get along and forgive the people God has put around you.

5) My children practice patience.  Yes, the baby calls for Isaac more than he calls for me (Mom) because Isaac will get to him faster than I will.  I'm busy and can't drop everything every time a child wants me.  In a world that promotes instant gratification, a household brimming with children pretty much puts a kibosh on that idea.  We all have to wait our turn and learn how to wait patiently.  No one gets what they want immediately, but everyone will be cared for and loved.  If Mom can't get there in a timely fashion, the older children step up to the plate.  Needs are always met.  Wants are often met.  Just as God doesn't give us exactly what we want when we want it, so it goes in our house.  Patience is a virtue learned early with lots of siblings.

So, random stranger, the next time you feel like hurling insults my way, you might just get a list of 5 reasons why I completely disagree with your assessment of our family.