I'm not the perfect mother. In fact I'm far from perfect. But since we're about to have number 6 in 7 weeks, I've devoted a lot of thought, prayer, and time to not only raising my children but thinking about what is most important to instill in their lives.
A few things I've written about in the past are:
1) Teaching children to have a relationship with the Lord.
2) Being aware that the devil is out to steal our kids.
3) The pain of rejection and how it wounds children.
4) Raising passionate children.
5) Teaching children that life is eternal and extends way beyond earthly death.
There could be more, but since I write for a ministry I sometimes forget what I write about for them and what I've written about on here. Oddly, I still despise writing. But somethings are worth writing about even if I find the process tedious.
I've rambled enough, so here is the post for today:
I come from a LONG line of teachers on my mother's side. My grandparents were teachers. Nearly all my aunts and uncles are teachers. Most of my cousins are teachers. It is so ridiculous that one might wonder if there is a "teaching" gene. Very few have married into the family who aren't teachers so maybe there is some prerequisite I don't know about. To say that education is important to my family may be a bit of an understatement. I think a lot of people assume that teaching is something left up to the schools, but I would whole-heartedly disagree. Teaching should start at home, and I'm not referring to homeschooling and academics, I'm referring to life.
Even if we don't realize it, we teach our children daily. Sometimes we teach by example, sometimes we teach through direct instruction, and sometimes we teach through exploration. But what we need to understand is that we are always teaching and our children are continuously learning from us. Sadly, many parents aren't conscious of what they are implanting into their children.
How we interact with our children has a huge impact on how they view the world from a very young age. When children are ignored and pushed to the side regularly, they are taught that they aren't valuable. When children are exposed to violence and vulgar language they learn that those are acceptable ways to express themselves. When children are given rules and responsibilities, they learn that life has boundaries and there are expectations for their behavior. When children are loved and cared for, they learn that their life and feelings are valuable. When children are coddled and spoiled, they learn that their needs come first and expect to be served. Yes - our children are always learning from us even when we aren't intentionally teaching them.
However sometimes we do set out to intentionally teach our children specific lessons and our actions and conversations are very purposeful. This is called direct instruction. So what kinds of things should we be teaching our children? There is so much I could write about. Just ask my kiddos! I pretty much talk their ears off all day long. But nearly 100% of the time all lessons revolve around spiritual concepts. Why? Well, because children always ask why! And I can find very little reason for anything absent of God's word, will, and character.
Why do we have to behave? Because we are not our own, we were bought with a price, and God has a purpose and plan for our lives. We need to obey our parents because in doing so we are learning to obey God who is the Highest Authority.
Why can't we watch TV all day long? (I have A LOT of reasons for this!) Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and we shouldn't feed it junk and things that displease the Lord. Some TV is good, but there is a lot that is dangerous and misleading. We are also meant to work and not be lazy. God has given us responsibilities to fulfill that we cannot do when glued to the TV. Don't get me started, I have way too much to say on this topic.
Why do puppies get hurt? Why are our lives filled with disappointment and pain? Why do people we love get sick? Why do bad things happen to good people? Because we are sinners. We live in a world full of sinners and the devil's goal is to hurt as many people as possible. (You may ask, do you really say that to your kids? Yes I do.) However, God is good. He doesn't promise us a life free of hurt, but He is good to us and protects us from a multitude of bad things. He heals our bodies most of the time. He causes our heart to beat steadily all day and all night. He gives us food to eat and warm water to bathe in. We cannot escape the evil of the world, but when we love the Lord, we will be with Him forever. He promises us that all this evil will be defeated in the end. But until His work is done here on earth, we need Him to help us maneuver through this life.
When a child asks why, it is important to give a real honest answer. Certainly, sometimes "because I said so" is acceptable. After all, God sometimes tells us to obey and doesn't give much reasoning. But when teaching children, explanation is important. It trains them to think about the bigger picture and to consider factors outside of themselves.
Lastly, children also learn through exploration. Teaching through exploration is something I do much better in a professional setting than at home. I have lots of exploratory lessons for mathematics and science. We do some of that at home too, but nature hikes, digging through dirt, pulling apart leaves and exploring God's world is not something I do a lot of with my children anymore. I know I need too. Kids LOVE to look and touch and smell, and jump around. And while, my children do much of it on their own, having a parent there to "play" with them makes it a much richer experience.
Over the next few months, I'm going to write about the purposeful lessons I teach my children, starting with discernment. In a world that echos the phrase "Who are you to judge?" teaching our children to understand the difference between right and wrong and recognizing right from wrong is essential. This world is quick to label a person as intolerant or extreme when he or she declares a lie to be a lie. Sometimes even labeling a sin as a sin makes you a radical. While my children are young and haven't gotten into the heavier issues, we love to pick out the lies on commercials. Even my 3 year old is getting good at separating fact from fiction when some toy manufacturer claims that their toy is the best! Being discerning is different from being judgmental. But if you think discernment comes naturally, look around you. How many adults would you consider to be wise and discerning? Discernment has to be taught and parents are just the people assigned to the task.
Next week I'll post about how I go about teaching discernment to my children.
After that, I'm planning on writing about Jesus and Santa and the struggle between myth and reality - which is an ongoing problem in this house! Don't feel obligated to read this blog. Given my pattern over the past year, I obviously don't feel obligated to write it! (Though I'll try to do better these next few months).
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
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