We were driving. Yes, I realize that almost all of my stories that center around conversations either occur in the car or at the dinner table. So, I'm sorry for the redundancy of the situation, but this conversation was rather new.
We were driving when Gabe said, "Mom I asked my friend if he was a Christian. He said, 'yes.' So, I asked him if he knew God, and he said, 'no.' So, he's not really a Christian."
Which prompted me to ask, "Gabe, do you know God?"
Without any hesitation he responded emphatically, "Yes!"
"Well how do you know? I mean, you can't even see Him." (Perhaps not the time to be playing devil's advocate, but I feel it is important that my children know why they believe what they believe."
Gabe said, "I can't see Him now, but I'll see Him in heaven. Hey Mom, where's heaven?"
And the conversation goes on from there concerning outer space, the sky, expansion of outer space, the red shift (yes, that one was from me), and red giants - none of which really had to do with heaven. I did zoom back around to ask him, "Gabe have you ever asked Jesus into your heart?" He said, "no." I asked him if he wanted to, and he also said, "no." Now, Isaac and I had this same conversation at 4 years old and even at 8 years old and so far none of my children feel the need to ask Jesus into their hearts.
Lest you think I'm raising heathens, I felt exactly the same way at their age and I still do today. I have known the Lord from a very very young age. I cannot tell you the date I became saved and neither can my mother. I remember my mom teaching me to confess and repent of my sins when I was either 3 or 4, because I still to this day remember lying in bed crying with my mom kneeling beside my bed while we were praying. I didn't want God to know that I had whacked my brother Matthew. But I was very aware that what I did was wrong and that I needed God to forgive me. Was I saved at 3? Perhaps, but I have no record of me actually asking Jesus into my heart. My mom told me that when I was 6 I struggled when that question was posed to me. She had enrolled me in vacation Bible school at the local baptist church. I didn't attend there, but it was much closer than the church we went to every Sunday so it was much more convenient. Apparently, I was told repeatedly that I needed to ask Jesus into my heart. I was even asked if I had already asked Jesus into my heart and told them, "no." Truth is, I hadn't, and I wasn't going to because I didn't feel I needed to.
For those of you who don't know me, I have an extremely strong will. Even from a very young age, I had an extremely strong will. But I always had a reason. I rarely act without thought or give consideration to my actions and their consequences. Even then, I had a reason for not asking Jesus into my heart. I truly believed he was already there! I never asked my mom to be my mom or my dad to be my dad. Neither did I feel the need to ask God to be my God. I just assumed that He was and is and that I belong to Him. I accept His rules, His truth, His salvation, and that I desperately need Him. I also truly love Him.
And so I contemplate whether or not to push my kids to say, "Jesus please come into my heart and save me because I am a sinner." When I was 12 I professed my faith publicly at church and was baptized because I wanted to, but I was saved long before that day. I want my children to know God, to love Him, and to grow closer to Him each and every day. I want them to have that relationship with Him. I desire for the Holy Spirit to dwell within them and for them to deny themselves so that they can live sold out for Christ.
I know that for many, uttering those words of invitation are very important because they have lived a life apart from Christ and they need to stop and change directions. None of us are sinless, we all need Christ to save us. And we all need the Holy Spirit to indwell us and guide us. But as church people push for dates and times and phrases, is that the message I should be personally sending my kids? I don't have a date or time to give when asked, "When did you become a Christian?" I can't even begin to tell you or guess. I have no idea. I don't remember life without God, and I am so thankful I had parents who introduced Him to me at an exceedingly young age. So I really wonder, as I raise my kids, should I push them to say those words, or do I accept that they know the Lord to the best of their ability and love Him even now? I suppose I'll have to pray about it.
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