With every dear friend, family member, or neighbor that passes on, I am reminded that we were not created for this world. And it is ever more imperative that I, as a mother, am very mindful that we have "little" spirits in this house that need to be guided, directed, and prepared for eternal life.
David. That is the David who was a man after God's own heart (Acts 13:22). I'm glad I wasn't his mom. I'm pretty sure that if I was, I would have taken the song and dance out of his life - not intentionally - but out of the guise of insisting he behave.
I realized this great flaw as I was praying all alone. When I talk to God straight from my spirit, I am overcome with emotion (except I don't let it overcome me to the point where others can see it). For whatever reason, I have placed great value on controlling my emotions, my speech, my thoughts, and my behavior. I think about things before I say them. I rarely do something or react without carefully weighing my options. Few thoughts go through my head unchecked. And I know I have parented my children similarly. I place great emphasis on thinking, making wise choices, putting things in perspective and looking at the facts. So when my children sing too loudly or clap too enthusiastically or laugh too uncontrollably, I will often intervene - not in a way that crushes their spirit but in a way that just puts them into check...until a few days ago.
I was driving in the car with Susie (4), Ben (2), and Annie (5 months). Out of the blue, Ben starts belting out "Jesus Loves Me." Within minutes Susie joins him and they proceed to get stuck on the chorus. Like a broken record they sang it over and over and over for a minimum of 10 minutes. They started clapping, dancing in their car seats - even Annie joined in making cooing noises of her own. Luckily, when my parenting side wanted them to calm down, my spirit insisted I let them continue.
And then I realized, if I want my children to passionately love the Lord as David did, I have to be very careful not to take that passion out of their hearts! That same feeling that wells up inside my kids also wells up inside of me, but for whatever reason I muster all the energy I can find to keep it inside. You won't find me dancing in the streets, weeping while I sing, or openly pouring out my heart. Maybe when I'm confident no one is looking, but never for others to see. Yet God loves our passion for Him and He desires to see us be passionate for Him.
I prayed for my children, long before they were conceived, that they would love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and strength. So when they laugh exuberantly, sing at the top of their lungs, jump for joy, or dance (safely) in the streets I need to remember that passionate people can love God passionately. Our emotions were made for just that purpose!
While I still very much enjoy children who behave, who respond to correction quickly, and who display self control, I understand that God hears our prayers and quite possibly gave me exactly what I asked for - passionate children who love God passionately. I need to embrace it more and squash it less. I'm pretty sure when we're in Heaven, God will delight in our passion for Him!
