Why Me?

I ask myself this question a lot.  While only about a handful of people truly know what I've been through in my short life, many have heard a smidgen and could understand why I ask it.  Today, as my doctor prepared me for the worst case scenario, which I didn't even realize was a possibility, I asked myself, "Why me?" again. 

Why Lord, have you blessed me with 4 beautiful children and a husband who loves me?  Why have you rescued me out of disastrous health situations and restored me completely?  Why have you blessed us financially beyond what we deserve?  Why do you forgive me over and over again when I commit egregious sins?  Why me?  Why have you chosen to rescue, restore, heal, love, and talk with me?

Our world is so shockingly evil.  Sin is promoted on television, in schools, magazines, and sadly even some churches.  We hear about the evil crimes of humanity on the news.  Watching the Jacyee Dugard story is evidence of how wicked our society is becoming.  Sin and evil are everywhere.  So, I expect to be hit by the consequences of sin time and time again.  It is a miracle that all of us aren't constantly bombarded with sickness, pain, suffering, and torment.  Actually, let me rephrase that, it is only by the grace of God that he prevents some of it in our lives.

And so, when God does intervene with his divine protection and restoration, I ask, "Why me?"  There is always a reason, even if I am not privy to it.  I am completely and utterly indebted to my God.  He has a plan and purpose for my life.  And though I have some idea of what he is calling me to do in this world, I'm not always sure what path I'll be taking.  When another twist or turn comes into play, when I find myself dealing with another unpleasant situation, I may be surprised, but He never is.

I suppose before I consider why does God rescue me, maybe I should touch on the question of why doesn’t God always rescue us quickly or in the manner we desire?  Chris Tiegreen writes on pg. 195 of his book, Walk With God, "We'd like to think that in our resistance against the enemy, God is our refuge.  He is, but not in the way we think....We like to think that God exists for our benefit, that He's a heavenly wish-granter and need-full-filler.  And while He has committed to grant us our heart's desires...His actions are not guided primarily by the welfare of man.  His actions are guided first by the glory of His name.  And in this case [concerning Job], the glory of His name called for a demonstration."

Interesting.  A life full of suffering and rescue allows God to display his glory to me and others!  And so, I have resolved to never suffer in vain!  If I would never suffer, I would never be able to help those who do!  It has been my observation that many Christians believe that because we are special, because God has saved us, life is supposed to be a bit easier.  We shouldn't have to endure what others endure...unless of course we decide to be missionaries in a third world country.  Being comfortable is the ultimate goal.  However, that doesn't resonate at all with my spirit.  Comfortable ministry is an oxymoron.  What does the Bible say? 

      

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 " ³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ⁵ For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ."

True comfort comes from the Lord, from the security of salvation, and from the omnipotence of God and his ability to do whatever he wants whenever he wants.  I admire those Christians who live a life of ministry.  Who reach out to the poor and needy.  Who go into "dangerous" dirty places in their own hometowns.  Who aren't afraid to share the Good News and show kindness to the "dregs of society."  I love the quiet Christians that go about the work of Christ unbeknown to the church.  Who live in those uncomfortable situations solely for the Glory of God!  Those people are His hands and feet!  I wish I could say that most of the Christians I know are like this, but sadly I can only name a handful.

A church event may be a comfortable way to reach out to the community, but is that what we are called to do?  Or as individuals and families should we be seeking out those who need the Lord? Shouldn't we be putting ourselves in places to have one-on-one encounters full of love and provision with a lice laden children who have little to eat and mothers addicted to drugs to hide their pain?  Or if that is too uncomfortable, what about making it your mission to visit a local assisted living home and minister to those who may be lonely and nearing the end of their lives?  What?  You have kids?  You can't go into those places?  Why not?  Children can learn from even a young age how to effectively impact the Kingdom of God!  

1 Peter 5:8 reads, "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."  And so, if my adversary is seeking out to destroy souls, shouldn't I be as vigilant and determined in my mission to lead them to Christ?  If not me, then who?

We all suffer - some of us more than others.  But I will never have a pity party.  Everything God has taken me through has allowed me to reach into another part of this world and touch lives for the sake of God's glory.  Why me?  Why has He rescued me?  Because He loves this world and desires for no one to be lost.  

2 Peter 3: 9 "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

Why me?  Why did he choose to save me?  And why does he keep saving me?  Because He has called me to do His will and not my own.  This is a bit out of context, but the message still holds true, and it resonates through me daily.  1 Corinthians 6:19b-20a "You are not your own; you were bought at a price."

And so, as the Lord does for me, I am called to do for others.  And with every rescue, I become more determined.

Bittersweet Holidays

It is that time of year again, the 4^th of July!  I have many great memories of this holiday spent with my Gramma and Grampa Newkirk (yes, I know I spelled their names wrong, but that is how they wanted them spelled).  In fact almost all of the memories I treasure are those with my grandparents.  I would go to their house on any and every opportunity.  As holidays roll around like the 4^th, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, they seem to be an unkind reminder of how my grandparents aren’t with me anymore.  I used to talk to them every day, sometimes multiple times a day.  Every time I went to Ludington, I was sure to stop.  When I had a problem, they were always there to listen and give advice.  When I was bored, I could always call and listen to Grampa’s stories.  Daily I am reminded of the void I have in my life.  Never a day goes by that I don’t notice.

However, I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I will see them again.  I used to talk about it with Grampa after Gramma died.  There is so much comfort in having family members who love the Lord with their whole being and who serve Him first and foremost because we are guaranteed to be with them and our Lord and Savior, for all eternity.  It isn’t the end; it is only a long wait until we are reunited.  Because of this, I have joy even in the midst of sorrow.

Unfortunately, I don’t have certainty of reuniting with all of my family or friends.  In fact, I am confident that only a handful of people I know, I will see again hereafter.  Be assured, I would never judge a person’s salvation.  That is never my place, but it is disconcerting when people who profess to be on their way to Heaven have very little knowledge of the Word or of the Lord.  How can they be sure they will make it?

I have friends and family who are wonderful people.  They are honest, hard working, kind, loyal, loving, and trustworthy.  Many proclaim to believe Jesus died for their sins.  But sadly that is often where it begins and ends.   James 2:19 addresses belief and belief alone.  Even the demons believe in Jesus!  They all know who He is and what He did, but none of them will share in His kingdom!   Upon death, where you spend eternity is sealed.  It is either with the Lord or without the Lord.  Luke 16:26 speaks of a great chasm between Heaven and Hell that nobody can cross.  No one wonders about the truth after death, they only rejoice or lament about the decisions they made before they breathed their last breath.
 

Strangely, Jesus said some of them will even be surprised that they don’t find themselves in Heaven!  Unfortunately, a lot of people are in this boat. Matthew 7:14 reads, “But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”  Matthew 7:21-23 says, “²¹ “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. ²² Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ ²³ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’” 

When most people believe they are going to Heaven, and the Bible says most are not, what is missing?  I am very concerned for those I love – especially my family.  I know I’ll be in Heaven with my grandparents, but I’m concerned about my cousins, my aunts and uncles, my children,  my unborn grandchildren, and my dear friends.  I’m also concerned about humanity in general.  I’m convinced that we do not understand what is really at stake!  Hell and Heaven are very different places!  We don’t all go to Heaven, and many who profess to be Christians don’t go to Heaven.  So what is missing? Love.

You disagree?  I know it to be true.  Those who love the Lord will be with Him for all eternity.  Knowing the Lord, obeying the Lord, praying to God, are all fine and dandy, and actually quite important, but they will get you nowhere if you don’t love Him.  Knowing, obeying, talking, seeking, listening, reading the Bible are things that come naturally when you love Him.  To many, Jesus is no more important than Abraham or Noah.  Sure, they all have great stories.  God saved Noah on a boat and humanity continued on.  Abraham was called by God to rescue Israel from the Egyptians and proclaim the name of the Lord.  Jesus was sent by God to die on the cross for our sins.  This Jesus who people know only as a matter of belief will no more save you than Abraham, Noah, or George Washington.  But when God is your Father, Jesus is your Savior, and the Holy Spirit is your strength.  When you talk with the Lord and abide in Him.  When you can’t wait to read your Bible because it is the letter of love God wrote to you.  When He is the first on your mind in the morning and the last on your mind before bed.  When all that you do, you strive to please Him.  Only then, can you be assured of salvation.  No one can steal the gift of life.  You can’t take something from God that doesn’t belong to you, but when you understand the depravity of your sin, your need for a savior, and accept Jesus as the atoning sacrifice for your sin, when you repent of even the smallest of sin, and live each moment in obedience to Christ because you love Him, then you understand what it means to be free.

As a side note, I would like to talk more about reading the Bible.  I have too many friends who are young parents currently fighting cancer, and all of them have been diagnosed as stage 4 in the various organs of their bodies.  I don’t understand!  It bothers me!  Often I have put myself in their shoes, what would I do?  One of the things I know I would most certainly start is writing letters to my children.  I would want to impart to them everything I could if the Lord chose to take me home early.  And even though, I’m not God, I would have a lot to say!  I would tell them about when they were born, what they did as they began to grow up, what kinds of things awaited them in their teenage years.  I would talk to them about peer pressure, alcohol, dating, eating, money, how I wanted them to behave, consequences and rewards, and on and on.  But I would also tell them about how much I loved them – over and over again!  I would tell them how I expected to see them again in Heaven and how to get there and that I’d be waiting for them!  I would tell them that it wasn’t enough to keep this information to themselves but to teach it to their children and to teach their children to teach it to their children!   And also to spread the news to all who would listen.  If I, as a mother, would do that for my children, how much more has God done for us?  I am dumbfounded by the majority of Christians who say they love the Lord, but rarely crack their Bibles!  If my Gramma or Grampa left me such a precious treasure, I’d be in it every day.  As it is, their stories, their voices, their touch, and their memories play through my mind daily.  How much more should the Word of God be in my mind!  The creator of the universe carefully formed us, gave us life, sent his only Son to redeem us, gave us his Word, and then sent the Holy Spirit to dwell within us.  Wow.  Why would we not relish in His love and give it in return?  How could we “forget” to read our Bibles?  That just doesn’t make sense!  Reading the Bible is not an activity of punishment, but one of great joy!  It is something we long to do when we love the Lord!

And so, that brings me back to my great concern.  I want to be with all my friends and family in Heaven someday!  It isn’t enough to just believe.  You can’t take salvation from God, you can only receive it when you become His child.  All of these church activities, Bible studies, praying, believing in the history of Jesus, or even worse knowing the truth and not living it, will not get you to Heaven.  If you do not LOVE the Lord you will not be with Him in eternity.  There is no other way. 

As my son said to me before he left for camp, “Mom, I want to know God like I know my Dad.”  It brought tears to my eyes.  That’s the key!  It isn’t enough to know about Him – it is all about the relationship!  If you don’t “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength (Deuteronomy 6:5)” then please, please, please take the time to re-evaluate your life.  Life on earth without Jesus may be bearable, but life hereafter without Him is not.