I realize there are a few of you who used to read this blog fairly regularly, and I will still be updating it from time to time with unique family stories and life lessons.
But for a more theological approach with shorter daily postings, I've started a new blog entitled Striving for the Gospel. You can find it here: https://strivingforthegospel.blogspot.com/
Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
Tuesday, June 6, 2017
Don't pick the Flowers. Don't take the Rocks.
Recently our family visited Great Smoky Mountains National Park, but before we ventured out, we stopped at the visitor's center, walked through their museum, and picked up some literature.
They must have know we were coming and bringing with us a flower loving 4 year old, because it was nearly impossible to overlook the signs and notices reminding visitors NOT to pick the flowers. And while the actual rule in the literature read, "Picking plants or removing any object from the national park is prohibited," our girls struggled to grasp the concept.
Me: Remember, you cannot pick any flowers.
Child: Can we take a pretty rock?
Me: No
Child: What if it is really small?
Me: No
Child: What about a piece of grass?
Me: No
Child: What about a piece of dirt?
Me: No
Child: That doesn't make sense. Dirt isn't worth anything. Just exactly how small a thing can we take?
Me: Perhaps you misunderstood. You are not allowed to take anything from the park.
Child: But we can if it is really small, because no one will know, and it isn't stealing, because it isn't worth anything.
I remember exactly where I was standing and where my daughters were sitting when this conversation took place - outside of a restroom on a rock within the park - because I had a personal epiphany at that very moment. Do I talk to God this way? Do I rationalize my sin and make plans to disobey God because I think I know better than He does? Sadly, I have, and sometimes I still do!
There are many who think that being a mother is hard because it is exhausting and full of self sacrifice. Those parts are definitely true. But for me, being a mother is hard because I see my sinful self in my children. There are times when I look at them and shake my head. How could they be so foolish and misunderstand so much about this world? As I shake my head at my children, I'm certain God shakes His head at me. Yet, I patiently teach them, just as God is continuously and patiently teaching me.
Sin is so sneaky. And while my eldest daughter is quite discerning and loves God very much, it saddened me that she would be so far off in this particular situation. Then again, she is only 8 years old and here I am nearing 40 still making similar mistakes in my spiritual walk. But God gives us room to fail, to sin, to be wrong. Thankfully, He also gives us His Word to set us straight.
I reminded my girls that when the rule says we cannot take anything from the park, we don't take it as a challenge to see what we can get away with. We don't try to bend the rules to fit our desires. We follow the rules as best as we possibly can, because we are reflections of Christ in a dark world.
As Christians we follow God's Law. It is true, sometimes we don't always understand, and yet we obey. Sometimes our desires try to lead us astray, and yet we obey. Why do we obey? Because we love Christ and are devoted to the Father. Our heart's desire should always be to please Him and not ourselves.
They must have know we were coming and bringing with us a flower loving 4 year old, because it was nearly impossible to overlook the signs and notices reminding visitors NOT to pick the flowers. And while the actual rule in the literature read, "Picking plants or removing any object from the national park is prohibited," our girls struggled to grasp the concept.
Me: Remember, you cannot pick any flowers.
Child: Can we take a pretty rock?
Me: No
Child: What if it is really small?
Me: No
Child: What about a piece of grass?
Me: No
Child: What about a piece of dirt?
Me: No
Child: That doesn't make sense. Dirt isn't worth anything. Just exactly how small a thing can we take?
Me: Perhaps you misunderstood. You are not allowed to take anything from the park.
Child: But we can if it is really small, because no one will know, and it isn't stealing, because it isn't worth anything.
I remember exactly where I was standing and where my daughters were sitting when this conversation took place - outside of a restroom on a rock within the park - because I had a personal epiphany at that very moment. Do I talk to God this way? Do I rationalize my sin and make plans to disobey God because I think I know better than He does? Sadly, I have, and sometimes I still do!
There are many who think that being a mother is hard because it is exhausting and full of self sacrifice. Those parts are definitely true. But for me, being a mother is hard because I see my sinful self in my children. There are times when I look at them and shake my head. How could they be so foolish and misunderstand so much about this world? As I shake my head at my children, I'm certain God shakes His head at me. Yet, I patiently teach them, just as God is continuously and patiently teaching me.
Sin is so sneaky. And while my eldest daughter is quite discerning and loves God very much, it saddened me that she would be so far off in this particular situation. Then again, she is only 8 years old and here I am nearing 40 still making similar mistakes in my spiritual walk. But God gives us room to fail, to sin, to be wrong. Thankfully, He also gives us His Word to set us straight.
I reminded my girls that when the rule says we cannot take anything from the park, we don't take it as a challenge to see what we can get away with. We don't try to bend the rules to fit our desires. We follow the rules as best as we possibly can, because we are reflections of Christ in a dark world.
As Christians we follow God's Law. It is true, sometimes we don't always understand, and yet we obey. Sometimes our desires try to lead us astray, and yet we obey. Why do we obey? Because we love Christ and are devoted to the Father. Our heart's desire should always be to please Him and not ourselves.
John 14:15 - If you love me, keep my commands.
Psalm 119:112 - My heart is set on keeping your decrees to the very end.
Sunday, May 7, 2017
It's Your Fault!
When I only had two or three children, I could watch them better, but after four children I pretty much gave up trying to keep an eye on everyone. So when I heard blood curling screams from the tinniest girl and shouts from the second youngest boy declaring, "You're fine!" I knew something was up and most likely someone was hurt.
Sure enough, Annie at almost 5 years old, had a huge bruise across the side of her face and 6 year old Benjamin was squarely to blame. To be fair, he didn't mean to hit her. He was trying to smash a ball with a ping pong paddle in the living room (not allowed) and she was 'in his way' according to his account. Instead of feeling bad for his actions, he placed the blame on her and minimized his responsibility. Then Ben accused her of overreacting, even though she truly was hurt. The ping pong paddle was about the same size as Annie's head and Ben was an enthusiastic ball smacker, but instead of smashing the ball, Annie's head caught the burnt of the force.
At first glance I wondered if we were going to need to visit the doctor. It looked like multiple blood vessels were broken. We promptly applied ice and Ben was placed in his room on his bed to contemplate his actions. Annie cried and received comfort. Ben pondered the situation and decided Mom was wrong for placing him in his room. I had higher hopes for time-out and his subsequent time of reflection, but remorse was no where to be found.
As an adult and a parent, this situation completely dumbfounded me. First the child disobeyed me by not putting the paddle away downstairs an hour ago as he was told. Then he decided to play with said paddle in the living room against the rules. Furthermore he accidentally hit his sister (it truly was not intentional), but instead of feeling bad, he blamed her for being in the way. Upon seeing she was really hurt, he insisted she was overreacting and refused to come to her aide. He had opportunity after opportunity to do right, but instead chose wrong at every single turn. When told to reflect upon the situation, he came to the conclusion that his time-out to reflect was UNJUST!
I had to scoop my jaw off the floor and walk myself out of his bedroom. Obviously, there is a lesson to be learned, not only for Benjamin, but perhaps for myself and the rest of humanity.
I wonder how often I blame God for sin in my life? How often do I misjudge situations and refuse to see things from the other person's point of view? How often do I refuse to reflect upon my day or repent of my sin? How often do I hurt someone else and blame them for "overreacting" and then refuse to apologize?
Sin is evil, painful, wicked, horrendous, and sickening. It separates us from God. There is absolutely no good that can come from it. Sin is so easy to see in my son's life and yet he is unable or unwilling to see it himself. I wonder how much of my own sin I am unaware of or unwilling to admit?
Sure enough, Annie at almost 5 years old, had a huge bruise across the side of her face and 6 year old Benjamin was squarely to blame. To be fair, he didn't mean to hit her. He was trying to smash a ball with a ping pong paddle in the living room (not allowed) and she was 'in his way' according to his account. Instead of feeling bad for his actions, he placed the blame on her and minimized his responsibility. Then Ben accused her of overreacting, even though she truly was hurt. The ping pong paddle was about the same size as Annie's head and Ben was an enthusiastic ball smacker, but instead of smashing the ball, Annie's head caught the burnt of the force.
At first glance I wondered if we were going to need to visit the doctor. It looked like multiple blood vessels were broken. We promptly applied ice and Ben was placed in his room on his bed to contemplate his actions. Annie cried and received comfort. Ben pondered the situation and decided Mom was wrong for placing him in his room. I had higher hopes for time-out and his subsequent time of reflection, but remorse was no where to be found.As an adult and a parent, this situation completely dumbfounded me. First the child disobeyed me by not putting the paddle away downstairs an hour ago as he was told. Then he decided to play with said paddle in the living room against the rules. Furthermore he accidentally hit his sister (it truly was not intentional), but instead of feeling bad, he blamed her for being in the way. Upon seeing she was really hurt, he insisted she was overreacting and refused to come to her aide. He had opportunity after opportunity to do right, but instead chose wrong at every single turn. When told to reflect upon the situation, he came to the conclusion that his time-out to reflect was UNJUST!
I had to scoop my jaw off the floor and walk myself out of his bedroom. Obviously, there is a lesson to be learned, not only for Benjamin, but perhaps for myself and the rest of humanity.
I wonder how often I blame God for sin in my life? How often do I misjudge situations and refuse to see things from the other person's point of view? How often do I refuse to reflect upon my day or repent of my sin? How often do I hurt someone else and blame them for "overreacting" and then refuse to apologize?
Sin is evil, painful, wicked, horrendous, and sickening. It separates us from God. There is absolutely no good that can come from it. Sin is so easy to see in my son's life and yet he is unable or unwilling to see it himself. I wonder how much of my own sin I am unaware of or unwilling to admit?
"Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts,
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."
~ Psalm 139:23
Sunday, October 30, 2016
The Bad Guys
Benjamin just turned 6 years old. We fondly refer to him as "Beets." (Don't ask me how he ended up with that name. He isn't rhythmic nor does he like beets. Dad passes out nicknames liberally and without much reasoning. And yet, some of them just stick.)
Ben is our warrior. He's been a fighter most of his life and was actually born into the world in a pretty dramatic and life threatening fashion. Since then, his young life has been a series of battles - all of which he has won. In fact, he has a plaque hanging outside of his bedroom door as testament to the strength God has given him. It reads, "For the eyes of the Lord roam throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. 2 Chronicles 16:9a"
In this picture you'll find Beets at the age of 4 with his beanbag hand grenade and his dusting rifle equipped with a pirate sword bayonet. This is what woke me up by busting through my bedroom door well before my alarm went off that morning. But never fear, I was informed that my bedroom had been swept and was clear.
Ironically, Benjamin is also extremely tenderhearted. In our family, each member prays before we eat dinner. (With 8 people to make the rounds, I don't even put the food on the table until we're done praying so that it stays warm.) Benjamin's prayers usually go something like this:
Ben is our warrior. He's been a fighter most of his life and was actually born into the world in a pretty dramatic and life threatening fashion. Since then, his young life has been a series of battles - all of which he has won. In fact, he has a plaque hanging outside of his bedroom door as testament to the strength God has given him. It reads, "For the eyes of the Lord roam throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. 2 Chronicles 16:9a"
In this picture you'll find Beets at the age of 4 with his beanbag hand grenade and his dusting rifle equipped with a pirate sword bayonet. This is what woke me up by busting through my bedroom door well before my alarm went off that morning. But never fear, I was informed that my bedroom had been swept and was clear.
Ironically, Benjamin is also extremely tenderhearted. In our family, each member prays before we eat dinner. (With 8 people to make the rounds, I don't even put the food on the table until we're done praying so that it stays warm.) Benjamin's prayers usually go something like this:
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for this food. Thank you for our family. Dear Jesus help the bad guys to find the right path and help their hearts turn to you. Help those who hate you to love you. And help us to do the right thing too. And help me to be good and love you too.
In Jesus name we pray,
Amen.
To be clear, our family doesn't use the terms "bad guys," "right path," or "turn to you" when we pray. And yet somewhere in his short life, he has come across these terms and incorporated them into his prayers. He sounds more like a 20 year old than a newly minted 6 year old, but his heart is very much in the right place and he means every word he says.
However, we must not forget that Ben is a warrior...and apparently a liar. He's a smiling liar so we didn't catch him very early in life - until one day about a week ago. I'll spare you the details, but upon being caught lying, he doubled down and lied again. Unfortunately, he didn't get to witness what happens to older brothers and sisters who lie, so he wasn't exactly certain what would come his way. He was disciplined in love and I believe the message was heard loud and clear. We do not lie in this family and if we do, there are consequences.
Later that night after I sang to him and tucked him in, I explained to Beets that when we love Jesus, we have to confess our sins and ask God to forgive us. Confessing was admitting out loud what he did and why it was wrong and then asking Jesus out loud to forgive him and help him not to do it again. I also explained that God already knew what he did wrong and when he talked to God about his sin, I wasn't going to intervene and give him more discipline. His words to God were between him and God and not me.
Ben started to cry. He didn't want to admit his sin out loud. But I insisted. And I also made sure he understood that when we ask God to forgive us, it demonstrates that we are sorry. Sorry means that we wished we hadn't done it in the first place and we never want to do it again. He did as he was instructed through tears and then said in a moment of revelation, "Mama, I am the bad guys I pray for."
That sentence brought tears to my eyes! Yes, Ben! Yes you are. We are all sinful. We are all broken. We all need a savior. But that isn't the end, it is the beginning. You see, when we know that we are the bad guys and we repent of our wicked ways and ask God to forgive us and allow Jesus to be the Lord of our lives, then we are saved! At that point, we are a new creation! We don't stay bad guys, Jesus makes us new!
Hallelujah! What joy there is when a child recognizes his sin and understands his need for the Savior. Benjamin, we are not condemned to a life of sin and death. Through Jesus we are free and get to live with Him for eternity.
"From that time on Jesus began to preach, 'Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.'" - Matthew 4:17
Friday, August 5, 2016
Lessons from the Blueberry Patch
We have six children, so it goes without saying that while they were little, the older children got more individual time with mom and dad than the younger children. Yesterday afternoon on a whim, I took tiny Annie who just turned 4 years old to what might be her favorite place on earth - the blueberry patch.
Though she had never been there before, blueberries are by far her favorite food and she will eat them until she is sick if allowed. It was just Annie and me, with our buckets, headed out to a local farmer's u-pick patch to marvel at the blueberries and bring in the harvest.
On the way there, I reminded her that we do not eat blueberries while we pick. Instead we have to weigh them, pay for them, and then we can munch on them in the car. I know eating is allowed at this patch, but I want my children to learn that farmers fields are like grocery stores. (Nothing irritates me more than tourists who pull off to the side of the road and steal fruit out of a farmer's orchard. So we emphasize respecting farmer's and their harvest in our family.)
When we got to the patch, Annie was absolutely delightful! She had fellow pickers laughing at her quips about the "blueberry jungle" and how she found some "perfectly delicious blueberries that were just right!" She never ate a single blueberry in the field even though everyone else around us was. She was polite and kind and filled with joy. One berry at a time, she put them in her little bucket to enjoy later. My heart overflowed with love for this little girl who couldn't have been more happy or well-behaved.
When we went to pay, she was given a little box for her tiny haul, which I handed to her after she was all buckled up in the car. On the way home we were chatting and I encouraged her to eat while we talked. But then I noticed in my review mirror that she had stopped. I reminded her that they were all hers to eat and she should enjoy them after she worked so hard. And she pointed out that I wasn't eating all of mine because I was going to share them with the family. Annie said, "I want to be like you, Mommy, so I'm going to share the rest of mine with my brothers and sister!"
My little girl had her favorite food in front of her. She had worked hard to pick out every single perfect berry. Her total haul consisted of no more than 50 or so berries, and while her belly would have loved to gobble them all up, her desire to be like me outweighed the desires of her flesh.
Annie took immense joy in spending time with me that afternoon. She loved to work hard and did a good job picking only the berries that were big and ripe. She never ate a single berry while we were picking, because I asked her not to. She enjoyed chatting and laughing while we worked, and she mimicked all of my behaviors because the desires of her heart to be like her mom outweighed her selfish desires. She also shared her tiny harvest with all of her siblings.
How often do we enjoy spending time alone with God? How often do we work hard for God even when no one else is looking? How often do we resist following the crowd and do what God asks instead? How often do we enjoy just communicating with Him and reading His Word? How often do we cast aside our selfish desires simply to please our Father in Heaven as we attempt to be more like Him?
I suppose Annie wasn't the only one who learned a lesson in the blueberry patch yesterday.
Though she had never been there before, blueberries are by far her favorite food and she will eat them until she is sick if allowed. It was just Annie and me, with our buckets, headed out to a local farmer's u-pick patch to marvel at the blueberries and bring in the harvest.
On the way there, I reminded her that we do not eat blueberries while we pick. Instead we have to weigh them, pay for them, and then we can munch on them in the car. I know eating is allowed at this patch, but I want my children to learn that farmers fields are like grocery stores. (Nothing irritates me more than tourists who pull off to the side of the road and steal fruit out of a farmer's orchard. So we emphasize respecting farmer's and their harvest in our family.)
When we got to the patch, Annie was absolutely delightful! She had fellow pickers laughing at her quips about the "blueberry jungle" and how she found some "perfectly delicious blueberries that were just right!" She never ate a single blueberry in the field even though everyone else around us was. She was polite and kind and filled with joy. One berry at a time, she put them in her little bucket to enjoy later. My heart overflowed with love for this little girl who couldn't have been more happy or well-behaved.
When we went to pay, she was given a little box for her tiny haul, which I handed to her after she was all buckled up in the car. On the way home we were chatting and I encouraged her to eat while we talked. But then I noticed in my review mirror that she had stopped. I reminded her that they were all hers to eat and she should enjoy them after she worked so hard. And she pointed out that I wasn't eating all of mine because I was going to share them with the family. Annie said, "I want to be like you, Mommy, so I'm going to share the rest of mine with my brothers and sister!"
My little girl had her favorite food in front of her. She had worked hard to pick out every single perfect berry. Her total haul consisted of no more than 50 or so berries, and while her belly would have loved to gobble them all up, her desire to be like me outweighed the desires of her flesh.
Annie took immense joy in spending time with me that afternoon. She loved to work hard and did a good job picking only the berries that were big and ripe. She never ate a single berry while we were picking, because I asked her not to. She enjoyed chatting and laughing while we worked, and she mimicked all of my behaviors because the desires of her heart to be like her mom outweighed her selfish desires. She also shared her tiny harvest with all of her siblings.
How often do we enjoy spending time alone with God? How often do we work hard for God even when no one else is looking? How often do we resist following the crowd and do what God asks instead? How often do we enjoy just communicating with Him and reading His Word? How often do we cast aside our selfish desires simply to please our Father in Heaven as we attempt to be more like Him?
I suppose Annie wasn't the only one who learned a lesson in the blueberry patch yesterday.
1 John 2:6 "Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did."
Friday, July 29, 2016
Raising Samson (the wild child)
To clarify, I do not have a son named Samson. Nor do any of my children possess super strength. But at times I feel for the woman who had to raise Samson because raising 'wild children' is not an easy task.
Well before I gave birth to my first child, I prayed that God wouldn't give me any children who would reject Him. An odd prayer? Yes, especially for a teenager. But I decided a long time ago, I'd rather be barren than have children who opposed God in their hearts. Fast forward 20 some years and here I am with 6 kids. Some of them love the Lord deeply, some of them are too young to tell, and then there's one - one I'm just not sure about.
This one child drains my energy more than all the others combined. He is constantly stirring up trouble. His mouth knows no bounds and it seems that the concept of self-discipline has been permanently banned from his brain. While I used to believe that I was pretty adept at raising children, this child baffles me daily. My normal discipline techniques do not work. My normal encouraging words fall on deaf ears. I'm not particularly sure what motivates this boy other than his fleshly desires and I am highly concerned for his soul. He's my Samson.
But wait! Wasn't Samson considered one of the heroes of the Bible? Well, yes. Yet if you read Judges 13-16 in depth, instead of glossing over the messy parts, you quickly learn that Samson's life was riddled with trouble - mostly of his own making. As a young man, he could kill wild animals with his bare hands, he liked to trick people, and he was a vengeful lustful man with a propensity for murder. Honestly, there is little good recorded in the Bible about Samson other than the fact that God used him to defeat the Philistines and he judged Israel for 20 years. However, when I read these passages, all I can think of is his poor mother.
How do you raise a child to love the Lord and do His will when your child seems mostly concerned about himself and getting what he wants? How do you not lose your temper daily with a child like this? How do you handle a loud boisterous child who lacks self control? What do you do when a child takes great pleasure in antagonizing others? No, my child did not tie 300 foxes in pairs, light their tales on fire, and send them into storehouses of food to burn it down. My child also hasn't killed 30 men to take their possessions in order to pay off a bet. But let me tell you, there are days when I wonder exactly what is going to come of his life. Will he find his way to jail? Will he find great pleasure in the sins of the world? Will he ever submit to Christ and love Him with his whole heart?
I don't know. I honestly cannot tell the future. However this I do know, Samson made it. And if there is hope for Samson, there is hope for my son. So while I work on the daily struggles with this child I remind myself of these things regarding his future:
1) Samson was chosen by God before birth to do God's work in this world. (Judges 13:5) In fact, God said something similar about Jeremiah in Jeremiah 1:5. The truth is, before we were born, God knew us and He has a plan for our lives. He also has a plan for our children's lives - even the wild ones. God has a plan for my Samson even if I have no idea what it is.
2) Samson was exceptionally strong because God made him that way to do God's work. Samson did not always use his gift wisely. In fact, he was a pretty angry guy and made some really foolish choices. But in spite of his faults, God still used him in a mighty way. God can use my son too. Though I may see his faults daily, that doesn't deter God. God doesn't give up on my child because he's naughty, and neither will I.
3) Samson often gave into his flesh. He did a lot of things that "seemed right in his own eyes" (Judges 14:3). The Bible warns us in Proverbs 21:2 that "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart." We know that fleshly desires and God's Law are often at odds. But in spite of all the weaknesses of Samson's flesh, God still weighed his heart. His sins, though great, did not determine his eternal destiny.
4) Finally, Samson finished well, and that is the part of the story we remember. His life of sin lead to a lot of terrible consequences in this world. But at the end, when the Philistines were using him for entertainment while they worshiped Dagon, he asked God to strengthen him one last time and brought judgement on God's enemies! The first part of my child's life has been rough. I suspect there is a very bumpy road ahead. Hopefully, the bumps only endure for a few years, but they might endure for the majority of his life. But up until his final breath, he has a chance to finish well.
My child has hope, and I must remind myself of this daily. Many of the great men of God have serious sin struggles. My child will likely struggle too. But God can still use him in spite of his struggles. Though his life might be hard, God hasn't turned His back on him. It may take this particular child a bit longer to formulate a deep relationship with Christ, but I pray that he will, and I'll remind him daily that God has a purpose for his life. He has gifted my child differently than any other child in this world and has a special plan just for him. If God can create Samson, use Samson, and even fill him with His Spirit, He can use my boy too. Wild children are not a lost cause.
Well before I gave birth to my first child, I prayed that God wouldn't give me any children who would reject Him. An odd prayer? Yes, especially for a teenager. But I decided a long time ago, I'd rather be barren than have children who opposed God in their hearts. Fast forward 20 some years and here I am with 6 kids. Some of them love the Lord deeply, some of them are too young to tell, and then there's one - one I'm just not sure about.
This one child drains my energy more than all the others combined. He is constantly stirring up trouble. His mouth knows no bounds and it seems that the concept of self-discipline has been permanently banned from his brain. While I used to believe that I was pretty adept at raising children, this child baffles me daily. My normal discipline techniques do not work. My normal encouraging words fall on deaf ears. I'm not particularly sure what motivates this boy other than his fleshly desires and I am highly concerned for his soul. He's my Samson.
But wait! Wasn't Samson considered one of the heroes of the Bible? Well, yes. Yet if you read Judges 13-16 in depth, instead of glossing over the messy parts, you quickly learn that Samson's life was riddled with trouble - mostly of his own making. As a young man, he could kill wild animals with his bare hands, he liked to trick people, and he was a vengeful lustful man with a propensity for murder. Honestly, there is little good recorded in the Bible about Samson other than the fact that God used him to defeat the Philistines and he judged Israel for 20 years. However, when I read these passages, all I can think of is his poor mother.
How do you raise a child to love the Lord and do His will when your child seems mostly concerned about himself and getting what he wants? How do you not lose your temper daily with a child like this? How do you handle a loud boisterous child who lacks self control? What do you do when a child takes great pleasure in antagonizing others? No, my child did not tie 300 foxes in pairs, light their tales on fire, and send them into storehouses of food to burn it down. My child also hasn't killed 30 men to take their possessions in order to pay off a bet. But let me tell you, there are days when I wonder exactly what is going to come of his life. Will he find his way to jail? Will he find great pleasure in the sins of the world? Will he ever submit to Christ and love Him with his whole heart?
 | |||||
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I don't know. I honestly cannot tell the future. However this I do know, Samson made it. And if there is hope for Samson, there is hope for my son. So while I work on the daily struggles with this child I remind myself of these things regarding his future:
1) Samson was chosen by God before birth to do God's work in this world. (Judges 13:5) In fact, God said something similar about Jeremiah in Jeremiah 1:5. The truth is, before we were born, God knew us and He has a plan for our lives. He also has a plan for our children's lives - even the wild ones. God has a plan for my Samson even if I have no idea what it is.
2) Samson was exceptionally strong because God made him that way to do God's work. Samson did not always use his gift wisely. In fact, he was a pretty angry guy and made some really foolish choices. But in spite of his faults, God still used him in a mighty way. God can use my son too. Though I may see his faults daily, that doesn't deter God. God doesn't give up on my child because he's naughty, and neither will I.
3) Samson often gave into his flesh. He did a lot of things that "seemed right in his own eyes" (Judges 14:3). The Bible warns us in Proverbs 21:2 that "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart." We know that fleshly desires and God's Law are often at odds. But in spite of all the weaknesses of Samson's flesh, God still weighed his heart. His sins, though great, did not determine his eternal destiny.
4) Finally, Samson finished well, and that is the part of the story we remember. His life of sin lead to a lot of terrible consequences in this world. But at the end, when the Philistines were using him for entertainment while they worshiped Dagon, he asked God to strengthen him one last time and brought judgement on God's enemies! The first part of my child's life has been rough. I suspect there is a very bumpy road ahead. Hopefully, the bumps only endure for a few years, but they might endure for the majority of his life. But up until his final breath, he has a chance to finish well.
My child has hope, and I must remind myself of this daily. Many of the great men of God have serious sin struggles. My child will likely struggle too. But God can still use him in spite of his struggles. Though his life might be hard, God hasn't turned His back on him. It may take this particular child a bit longer to formulate a deep relationship with Christ, but I pray that he will, and I'll remind him daily that God has a purpose for his life. He has gifted my child differently than any other child in this world and has a special plan just for him. If God can create Samson, use Samson, and even fill him with His Spirit, He can use my boy too. Wild children are not a lost cause.
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
My Bad Bad Week
It started off with someone hurting my child emotionally and thinking nothing of it. The next day another person threw me under the bus for a mistake they made. The next day I got a huge bill in the mail because the insurance company refused payment and I had to stay on the phone for 2 hours while someone looked into the problem. The next day, I got into a fight with my husband. The next day one of my children was persistently defiant. The next day...well, you get the picture. For 10 days straight, I had never ending problems. No one died. No one
got sick, but problem after problem after problem took their toll.
Unfortunately, I did not live that week well. It was a bad bad week (and a half).
Have you ever had a stressful week where nothing exceptionally horrible went wrong but the problems just kept piling on? It is utterly exhausting. My children will tell you, I was not a good mom during that time. I was not a good wife during that time, and honestly, I was not a very good Christian either.
Yes, I was praying. Yes, I was reading my Bible and asking God to help me. Unfortunately, I wasn't a particularly good listener. So God decided to punch me in the gut. It wasn't fun. I'll share my experience with you, so that hopefully, you can avoid doing what I did.
One evening we were watching a ball game for one of my children when Susie started talking to a child in our neighborhood. Susie has a kind heart and a lovely spirit. She makes friends very easily and treats all people with abundant respect (except her brothers). Susie has a rare ability to make people feel loved. She isn't perfect, but she is very unique. God has gifted her in a special way to reach people for Him. And that is what she was doing. I wasn't paying much attention to their conversation until my 7 year old started talking to this other child about life and church and God. WHAT? I was having a terrible week. My heart wasn't right, but there was my little girl talking very sweetly, witnessing to another child she hardly knew. If that didn't shock my spirit, the next thing I noticed did. Susie's new acquaintance was related to the adult who had done me wrong earlier in the week. I was still quite angry about the situation. So, God punched me.
My very bad week had distracted me from the purpose for which I was created. My feelings, although justified, caused me to act in a way that would turn people off to Christ. Yet my little girl was showing Christ's love to the same people who had done me wrong. I did not know this family was unsaved until I overheard Susie's conversation. So God knocked me to the ground (figuratively) and reminded me in a very authoritative way that my feelings should never take precedence over the Gospel message.
I went home with my tail tucked between my legs. Yes, I had an absolutely awful week where I was mistreated time and time again. Subsequently my flesh decided to make some unwise postings on facebook, speak negatively about a few people in my life, and lose my patience with those I love most. I was a terrible Christian who needed a wake up call.
Sometimes it is easier to get through the hardest times in life - like losing a loved one or dealing with a chronic illness - because during those deep dark moments we lean on God minute by minute. But the annoying headaches of life don't always drive us to Him. I spent my time praying, complaining about the week, asking God to stop the problems, but never listening for His guidance. Meanwhile, my daughter was busy about her Father's work. And my actions were contradicting hers.
This world is evil. Sinners sin. People hate Christians. It should come as no surprise that we will all have bad weeks. And, unfortunately, we'll probably all fail from time to time. Yet it is important to remember that our purpose is not simply to solve earthly problems or stand up for ourselves or our family. People will hurt us and lie about us and send us bills that don't belong to us. We will get upset. But our overarching purpose is to share the Gospel. If our actions compromise the Gospel of Christ, beware, God has a nasty right hook. And He will get you.
Hebrews 12:6 - For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.
Have you ever had a stressful week where nothing exceptionally horrible went wrong but the problems just kept piling on? It is utterly exhausting. My children will tell you, I was not a good mom during that time. I was not a good wife during that time, and honestly, I was not a very good Christian either.
Yes, I was praying. Yes, I was reading my Bible and asking God to help me. Unfortunately, I wasn't a particularly good listener. So God decided to punch me in the gut. It wasn't fun. I'll share my experience with you, so that hopefully, you can avoid doing what I did.
One evening we were watching a ball game for one of my children when Susie started talking to a child in our neighborhood. Susie has a kind heart and a lovely spirit. She makes friends very easily and treats all people with abundant respect (except her brothers). Susie has a rare ability to make people feel loved. She isn't perfect, but she is very unique. God has gifted her in a special way to reach people for Him. And that is what she was doing. I wasn't paying much attention to their conversation until my 7 year old started talking to this other child about life and church and God. WHAT? I was having a terrible week. My heart wasn't right, but there was my little girl talking very sweetly, witnessing to another child she hardly knew. If that didn't shock my spirit, the next thing I noticed did. Susie's new acquaintance was related to the adult who had done me wrong earlier in the week. I was still quite angry about the situation. So, God punched me.
My very bad week had distracted me from the purpose for which I was created. My feelings, although justified, caused me to act in a way that would turn people off to Christ. Yet my little girl was showing Christ's love to the same people who had done me wrong. I did not know this family was unsaved until I overheard Susie's conversation. So God knocked me to the ground (figuratively) and reminded me in a very authoritative way that my feelings should never take precedence over the Gospel message.
I went home with my tail tucked between my legs. Yes, I had an absolutely awful week where I was mistreated time and time again. Subsequently my flesh decided to make some unwise postings on facebook, speak negatively about a few people in my life, and lose my patience with those I love most. I was a terrible Christian who needed a wake up call.
Sometimes it is easier to get through the hardest times in life - like losing a loved one or dealing with a chronic illness - because during those deep dark moments we lean on God minute by minute. But the annoying headaches of life don't always drive us to Him. I spent my time praying, complaining about the week, asking God to stop the problems, but never listening for His guidance. Meanwhile, my daughter was busy about her Father's work. And my actions were contradicting hers.
This world is evil. Sinners sin. People hate Christians. It should come as no surprise that we will all have bad weeks. And, unfortunately, we'll probably all fail from time to time. Yet it is important to remember that our purpose is not simply to solve earthly problems or stand up for ourselves or our family. People will hurt us and lie about us and send us bills that don't belong to us. We will get upset. But our overarching purpose is to share the Gospel. If our actions compromise the Gospel of Christ, beware, God has a nasty right hook. And He will get you.
Hebrews 12:6 - For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.
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